Cracked Archive - Music

The Most Powerful Man in the World: The Voice in Your GPS

Turn left in five hundred feet. Open the glove box and remove the gun. Kill!

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Why Conan O'Brien Should Write for the Internet

Don\'t just go to Fox and do a late show with them, it\'ll just be more of the same. The internet is the last wild west this world has. Help us fill it with dick jokes.

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Complaints to Domino's That They Didn't Put in Their Ad

My friend and I ordered a pepperoni classic today and when it arrived we found it to be incredibly chewy. Like it was made out of condoms. Was it made out of condoms?

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Worst Life Ever: The Story of Kazuyuki Fujita's Skull

He was created by filling a cement truck with coconut sperm, and no one was more surprised than that cement truck.

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4 Reasons 'Lost' is the New 'Star Wars'

\'Lost\' is the new \'Star Wars,\' and you must bow to it and start watching it now, because you still have a month before the final season starts.

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5 Reasons Die Hard Is The Best Christmas Movie Ever Made

It still counts as 'heart-warming' if it rips your heart out of your chest and lights it on fire.

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5 Musicians Who Need to Find Something New to Sing About

Sometimes, a musician will latch onto one pet subject and hang on for dear life no matter how bad it makes them look.

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The 9 Most Underrated Funny Songs (According to Weird Al)

By Weird Al Yankovic. Seriously.

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5 Movies Aliens Should Watch Before Trying To Invade Earth

The theme of all science fiction ever is how much better we are than space. Let's take a look at some of the messages that I hope our alien neighbors have received.

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5 Facts About Woodstock The Hippies Don't Want You to Know

It was all about the Benjamins, baby.

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