Cracked Archive - Music

The Most Powerful Man in the World: The Voice in Your GPS

Turn left in five hundred feet. Open the glove box and remove the gun. Kill!


Why Conan O'Brien Should Write for the Internet

Don\'t just go to Fox and do a late show with them, it\'ll just be more of the same. The internet is the last wild west this world has. Help us fill it with dick jokes.


Complaints to Domino's That They Didn't Put in Their Ad

My friend and I ordered a pepperoni classic today and when it arrived we found it to be incredibly chewy. Like it was made out of condoms. Was it made out of condoms?


Worst Life Ever: The Story of Kazuyuki Fujita's Skull

He was created by filling a cement truck with coconut sperm, and no one was more surprised than that cement truck.


4 Reasons 'Lost' is the New 'Star Wars'

\'Lost\' is the new \'Star Wars,\' and you must bow to it and start watching it now, because you still have a month before the final season starts.


5 Reasons Die Hard Is The Best Christmas Movie Ever Made

It still counts as 'heart-warming' if it rips your heart out of your chest and lights it on fire.


5 Musicians Who Need to Find Something New to Sing About

Sometimes, a musician will latch onto one pet subject and hang on for dear life no matter how bad it makes them look.


The 9 Most Underrated Funny Songs (According to Weird Al)

By Weird Al Yankovic. Seriously.


5 Movies Aliens Should Watch Before Trying To Invade Earth

The theme of all science fiction ever is how much better we are than space. Let's take a look at some of the messages that I hope our alien neighbors have received.


5 Facts About Woodstock The Hippies Don't Want You to Know

It was all about the Benjamins, baby.