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Authorities Thought Joy Division Might Be Actual Serial Killers

Joy Division was one of the biggest rock bands of the 1970s and '80s. Even if you don't recognize the name, you probably recognize their most famous work: this T-shirt.

Peter Saville/Factory RecordsIt’s an image of radio waves from a pulsar. There, now you know more about this than 99 percent of people who own the shirt.

For a brief spell during 1979, the police were looking into members of the band for another crime wholly unrelated to fashion: the Yorkshire Ripper murders. Between 1975 and 1980, Peter Sutcliffe -- an ex-gravedigger, which seems like a clue in hindsight -- murdered 13 women in red light districts across Northwest England. Police of the time tragically didn't have access to Wikipedia, and thus did not know this information. In 1979, they turned their attention to a motley crew of musicians whose license plates were often recorded in those very same red light districts.

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Motley Crue's Vince Neil Disabled Himself Over Mustard

Motley Crue is the biggest, baddest rock band to ever exist. They rubbed egg burritos on their junk to keep their girlfriends from finding out about the groupies they were banging! One of them had a lethal overdose in Slash's shower ... and started doing heroin the second he was revived! Another killed a dude while drunk driv- OK, there's the line in the sand.

There's one incident that they probably don't like to talk about, however: that time they had to cancel a gig because their lead singer got BTFO'd by a jar of mustard. Prior to taking the stage at a show in Rochester, NY, the band was backstage fixing themselves some snacks when Vince Neil -- famed hater of Grey Poupon -- found a jar of the stuff on their catering table in lieu of his favorite brand. In a hangry rage, he threw it at the wall ... at which point the jar exploded and shrapnel hit his hand, leaving him no choice but to run to the hospital before the hated Poupon could flavor his very bloodstream.

Elektra RecordsCan’t emit a sense of raw, sexy, no-rules rock 'n’ roll without the right brand of imported Dijon mustard.

3

Pink Floyd Accidentally Toppled The Venetian Government

The Who was all about teenage angst. For Led Zeppelin, it was bizarre homages to Lord Of The Rings and pederasty. For Pink Floyd, it was rebellion and smashing the system -- which the city of Venice learned all too well in 1989, after a gig by The Floyd caused the collapse of their government.

In 1989, Venice decided to expand its cultural horizons by inviting Pink Floyd to perform a free gig in the city's historic St Mark's Square. One problem: Historical preservationists argued that vibrations generated by the band could damage the city's historic buildings. If only they had built that city on (something compatible with) rock 'n' roll.

As a compromise, the government moved the gig from the city center to a floating stage moored offshore. Why yes, it did look completely bonkers.

Sadly, no photos of the all-gondola mosh pit survived.

2

Alice Cooper Nearly Hanged Himself On Stage

Alice Cooper is famed for his wild stage shows, featuring snakes, pyrotechnics, elaborate costumes, electric chairs, and the like. It is objectively and provably pretty bitchin'. This kind of showmanship does have its drawbacks, however. When things go wrong, they go wrong in a fairly significant way. Case in point, that time he almost hanged himself during a gig.

We're guessing this is a bit without a lot of room for mistakes.

1

The Killers Got Caught In A Piss Storm

In June of this year, thousands of fans filed into Swansea, Wales' Liberty Stadium and prepared for a mass Mr. Brightside singalong by drinking and drinking and drinking and then having a little drink to wash down all those drinks. Then it came time to use the bathroom, and it's a soccer stadium, so that was no problem, right? Turns out concert organizers had taken it upon themselves to implement some kind of bizarre toilet-based class war, and the bathrooms were only available for fans sitting in the higher levels. If the lower levels wanted to relieve themselves, they had to leave the stadium and queue at a porta-potty in the parking lot.

Related: 15 Most Ill-Advised Career Reinventions In Rock Music History