Cracked Archive - Music
6 Pieces of Music That Mean The Opposite of What You Think
If you're like most Cracked readers, you own an extensive collection of classical music that you listen to during one of your daily top hat parties or afternoon pipe appraisal sessions. This article isn't for you.
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- By Geoffrey Cubbage
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920
920 The 5 Most Badass Musical Instruments Ever Built
Whether it's rock and roll with its blistering solos, classical with its ominous overtones, or jazz with its black people, music is already pretty damn cool. The only way it could get cooler? These:
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- By Cracked Writers
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- 317
The 8 Things You Can Do With a Cover Song [COMIC]
From All Along the Watchtower to Madonna pretending to play the guitar.
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- By Winston Rowntree
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- 789
How to Deal With Things You Hate for No Reason [COMIC]
Be reasonable ... unless it's John Cougar Mellencamp, who is undoubtedly that spawn of satan.
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- By Scott Meyer
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- 178
How to Come Up With an Awesome Band Name [COMIC]
Don't get distracted by learning to play music.
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- By Scott Meyer
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- 158
Why Eminem Needs to Find Something New to Rap About
Don't you realize you can just make some shit up? If you wanted to write a song about pistol whipping the Insane Clown Posse roadie who was making out with your wife, just write that shit. You don't actually have to go out and beat up a clown to do it.
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- By Adam Tod Brown
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- 685
19 Unintentionally Terrifying Children's Album Covers
It's true that the world looks more innocent through a child's eyes. But album covers, even those made for kids, are designed by grown-up, world-hardened and bitter adults. So sometimes you just have to ask, what the hell were they thinking?
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- By CRACKED Staff, David Johnson
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- 512
The 6 Most Atrocious Uses of Facial Hair in Music History
Adam Brown and Kristi Harrison feel it is their responsibility to deconstruct what has to be some of the most atrocious facial hair in the music industry.
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- By Adam Tod Brown, Kristi Harrison
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- 362
I'm Starting to Doubt Lil Wayne's Research Skills...
You said Tom Petty, but you probably meant Richard Petty or Kyle Petty who both happen to be famous NASCAR drivers.
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- By Adam Tod Brown
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- 469
5 Days Undercover as a Justin Bieber Fan
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- By Adam Tod Brown
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- 762
Battle of the Sexes: Judging The 8 Most Iconic Bras Ever Worn
You know how people always bitch about science taking time out of its day to solve inconsequential problems while a cure for cancer is still nowhere in sight? Well this is a lot like that. Instead of using this prime comedy real estate to shed light on one of the many issues currently plaguing our great nation, we're talking about titties.
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- By Adam Tod Brown, Kristi Harrison
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- 228
The 7 Most Impossible Rock Stars to Deal With
DMX is not in any way exaggerating when he describes being a bad, bad man in his songs.
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- By Chris Bucholz
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- 766
The 19 Most Hilariously Failed Attempts at Sexy Album Covers
Not every musician is suitable for the role of sexy cover model. Somehow, music producers missed that fact.
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- By Nick Coffin
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- 1024
The 5 Most Famous Musicians Who Are Thieving Bastards
We know musicians 'borrow' music all the time, but this is flat ridiculous.
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- By Rohan Ramakrishnan
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- 1591
6 Albums By Rock Legends That Were Thinly Veiled 'F#@k You's
In an industry where recording artists are constantly forced to grab their ankles, these guys did it with a smile on their faces.
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- By Ryan Oskroba
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- 446
