THE WORST OF THE WORST!
The 8 Most Cringe-Worthy Comic Book Movie Moments
Who would have thought a movie about a bunch of giant turtle monsters would have just one moment that stood out as too ridiculous? Not Vanilla Ice's agent, that's for damn sure.
Notable Comment: CT wonders, "Um, has anyone mentioned Spider- Man 3. Emo Peter Parker!" What? Yes, we did. We mentioned Spider-Man 3 and even used the word "Emo" when describing Parker. In the list you're commenting on. We're baffled.
SPORTS MOVIES WORTH DISOWNING A FRIEND OVER!
The 5 Least Manly Sports Movies
[A short play based on what we presume took place in the editing room for Field of Dreams]
Director: You know, I could really use a few more close ups of Kevin Costner's bland, emotionless face.
Screenwriter: I'd like some more exposition about land foreclosures, too. I have a ton of beautiful, additional dialogue about the delicate inner workings of banks and land acquisition, but nowhere to stick it.
Director: Let's... let's cut out all this shit about baseball.
Notable Comment: Howabominable points out that Kevin Costner "could be replaced by a mannequin and a voice actor and his movies would improve tenfold." Honestly, that really sounds like a terrific sports movie franchise in the spirit of Air Bud. Think about it. A mannequin as a catcher. A fucking mannequin! You're not gonna knock him down, and there's no rule that says a mannequin can't play ball. Are you listening, Mr. Costner? Because MLB: Mannequin League Baseball just may be the only good baseball movie you'll ever make.
A Brief History of the Sitcom
Go from racial intolerance to Fonzie and all the way back to racism in about three and a half minutes!
|The News on Cracked|
"This is the worst party ever, I thought we'd be eating off naked whores."
Long-distance food fights was an intergral part of the Chinese army's training. Private
Tuong carefully loaded his weapon. .
"Bachelor number two: If I was a small, South American country, what would you do?"
"We understand that, Mr. Bond. But which one of us is the real Colonel Nguyen?"
"I don't like you, McClucken. You're a loose cannon, and you give the force a bad name.
But, dammit, you get results."
"Look! It's a chicken!"
LakeON, apply directly to the forhead!
Unfortunately, the zombie could swim, too.
"Ha! My costume is sure to win most original this year! No one could possibly...
Nothing says "Army espionage" like dressing as a bear that's on fire.
Karl and Jerry had real talent in the machine shop... unfortunately, they only used this
latest invention to get drunk, knock the masts off of sailboats and then yell "Good luck,
fuckers" at the stunned occupants as they sped away.
When the giant robot war-spider orders waterskis, you damn well better have waterskis.
To their misfortune, the balloon is actually powered by the phrase "Oh, shit! Shit shit
shit shit shit!!"
Tom knew there were easier ways to get his T-shirt off but he just couldnt think of any
at the moment
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