I was born thinking I was a pot plant. One of those ones from Sesame Street, but Sesame Street when Snuffaluffagus (?) was still invisible and Big Bird thought he was losing it as whenever BB invited everyone over to meet him, Snuffy had just left to go home because he heard his Momma calling him! (fantastic range of communications, those, um, Snuff...er...things...) More accurately, everyone thought Big Bird was losing it..they treated him horribly - just patronised him like nobody's business! Fcukers!!!
Many major events in my childhood can be related to Sesame Street... It taught me to read... It taught me that people in the TV (I didn't realise Bert and Ernie were puppets) couldn't see me. Or that the room in the TV did not extend beyond the bounds of the TV itself. Heady concepts for a three year old. Where exactly did they come from? Why were they there? Why were they talking to me, and what did they want me to say back? You can call me Bean, if you like. (and if you got *that* vague reference and would like a Gold Star just PM me with the author's name!)
I thought I was one of the pot plants with Doodle Bugs living in it. I had convinced myself that 'Ernie was watering me' when in actuality it was my much older brother pissing on me while I made Doodle Bug noises...
He called me "Noodle Doug". He thought it was hilarious.
My name isn't Doug...
Some things are harder to get over than others...
(Oh, wait, someone's already done that one, see?: www.crakked.com/members/Olaf_is_SO_funny/top_ten_things_that_are_harder_to_get_over_than_others)
PS - I think it is disturbing that my country's new Leader (his initial capitals) has a name that is so easily rhymed with 'crud'. And, to a lesser extent, 'spud'. 'Bud' I can live with.
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