RunawaySausage

AMERICA

Real Name:

Duff McCrush

Member Since:

June 22, 2011

About Me

When I'm not racing through Afghandyland beatin' on terrorist in an ambiguously gay full-body spandex suit modeled after the US flag, you might find me chillin' with my ladies or maybe drinking some whiskey while listening to Johnny Cash, because that's what men do. You can call me, but I forgot my phone number since I use hacked radios that operate on illegal frequencies to communicate instead. Has anyone caught me? No, because they all attack me one at a time. Even 3rd degree ninja super-warriors from the highest mountains of Japan have failed to overcome the simple mathematical formula of fist + face, applicable in almost every scenario. That's copyrighted by the way. So if you really need to find me, just follow the trail of dead terrorists, I'll probably be BASE jumping, wrestling grizzly bears, or maybe engaged in a boxing match with Teddy Roosevelt's ghost. So go ahead, try to find me. Just keep in mind that they don't call my right fist "Octavius the Annihilator" for nothing. Superman pissed in his less-awesome spandex suit just at the sight of it.