My name is Kathryn and I am a billion years old with a leather sack for a double chin and I have self-esteem issues from the ravenous beatings my abusive husband would rain upon me for not pre-heating his speed and cleaning the toilet properly. I have been a crack addict for a million years and now I have taken myself a new pipe...on my computer screen...on this website that gives me more jesus-jiggles than fake love and happiness in a crystalized life-stealing drug to keep me quiet about how I got my broken everything throughout the years. All I can say is prais jesus. That sin-absolving, rippled, alabaster bastard child of a tin man in the sky, for saving me from chemical flilth and delivering me unto comedic idolatry. Thank you Jeebus, thank you Cracked.com...

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