Jewish, genius. A pit of despair in a world of bright, happy people, daisies, and Brangelina. A wellspring of happiness in a world of death, destruction, and Richard Simmons.

My idol is the mustache. Oh yes. Hulk Hogan. Burt Reynolds. Even Edward Norton in Rounders. These men are great...because of the mustache.

Oh, and Freddie Mercury. Hells yeah.

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