Contrary to unpopular belief, I am not a lumberjack, but after many years living amongst them and studying their ways I have reached deforestation enlightenment.

My creation of an account on Cracked.com was a sacred rite signifying my readiness to enter the modern world. My sensei gave me my catchphrase as a parting gift, it is both a statement of my honour as a quasi-lumberjack and a warcry bearing testament to my wood-chopping abilities.

Also, I know the difference between your and you're.

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