This, is the story, of me...


In the year 17Ab4C, which I am declaring as totally a real thing, the interstellar space commission started work on a top secret project, to create a perfect being.
They brought together people and aliens from all over the universe, and they even fucked shit up in OTHER universes, just to get more people to help with the mind blowing audacity of the project. I don't even know if that last part makes sense, I don't even know what audacity MEANS!
After years of fruitless labor, Kramlor, the overlord of the project, hereby dubbed project Bamfuckstickawesome, decided that this story was to long winded, and proceeded to skip a couple pages 'n shit, cause he too gangsta to have time 'fo words 'n shit.
One day they made a breakthrough, they decided to combine the genes of a normal human, with like, a perfect...human, yea, I'm just groping in the dark at this point. BUT THEY SUCCEEDED!!!
His body was in impeccable shape, his mind, flawlessly advanced, his knowledge of dick jokes, unmatched, his ability to do anything, just like what I just said, and his dong, just plane HUGE!
He stepped out of his containment container (they are none to creative with names there), all in the room stood breathless, waiting to hear what wisdom the being offered. He stepped into the center of the room, opened his mouth, and-
SMASH!!!
The ceiling collapsed and fell on him, killing him instantly.
The project was scrapped and never heard about again. Anyhow, one of the female scientists got knocked up by the janitor and had a kid, THAT was me.
Unfortunately, my mom greatly enjoyed competing in mercury drinking contests, so I'm kind of mentally stupid in the face, like, all over. Fortunately, I have no self esteem or knowledge of when to stop talking, so you get to laugh at my dumbfullness. Enjoy.


Oh, and I also have my own website http://colescomedyworkshop.webs.com/
You should check it out, there's comedy there.

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