I have amazingly made it to this point in my life without doing the following: spending a night in jail, not having a restraining order filed against me, getting in a 'girl fight', having only one ex-husband, making any home-made porn, having a real lesbian relations, (I accidentally went on a lesbian date once, but didn't know she was a lesbian and didn't know it was a date, so I don't think it counts.) needing to enter a rehab facility, needing to assume a false identity for any length of time, or switching my insurance to Gieko. I'm either the most heartless liberal or liberal republican, depending on which way you look at it.

I'm a girly girl who can swear like a truck driver, will enjoy meeting anyone until they call my three times the blind raise holding a J3 spades and crack my AA, love traveling and my beagle, peanut sauce is the miracle food, and I think brainy men with a killer sense of humor are the epitome of sexy.

I'm a total movie snob with a soft spot for horrible movies that don't realize just how bad they are, and can kick almost anyone's ass in trivia.

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