After all our animals do for us, it's particularly hard to watch them get sick or depressed. Millions of people turn to the Internet with frantic searches asking for help with their animals, but sadly, the Internet is full of misinformation designed to sell pet medication and doggie spa packages to panicked owners.
In the superior hemisphere it's nearly spring again, and as Americans celebrate by shedding their jackets or falling in love in parks, the IRS is beginning its gradual warm up and stretching routine in preparation for some unparalleled wallet raping.
On Halloween, G.O.D.E.K. doesn't give out candy-- he gives children tips on keeping their marriage spontaneous with heart balloons and back massage coupons. And speaking of children, the following four books were printed on their flattened and dried remains:
Don't fight it, lady! Hugging strangers is the 853rd way to celebrate America! 854 through 921 are all sex coupons, but I'll wait for you to stop screaming before I get into those.
Try mentioning any of the below things to a large group of people -- or just try not hiding any of these things from a large group of people -- and you will have so much condescending advice on your hands that you could, I don't know, build a really annoying house out of it.
Despite old adages, love is not permanent. It is an amorphous blob of passion that transforms endlessly, appearing one minute as a flickering light of purpose toward which you struggle, and the next as a quiet hatred sitting in the passenger seat of your car, shaking its head because you forgot to shave.
Sometimes I also come across other sex experts who may, in fact, possess fewer qualifications than me. How can I make such a judgment? Because look at this dumb shit ...
