11,201 More Pieces of Terrible Advice
Very few critics are brave enough to scrutinize romance self-help books. One big reason for this is eunuchism. I'll demonstrate: Concentrate on your lap when you read this tip from 10,000 Ways to Say I Love You: "2206. Give her socks that picture her favorite flowers." Did you notice that as you read it, the area around your genitals began secreting genital solvent? That's because your brain was sending signals that you wouldn't need them anymore.But not everything about these books is peaceful and smooth genital mounds. In this very article, I uncover multiple scandals that will blow the fucking lid off the romance book industry and your mind. Normally I'm only known for my impossible wit and classically handsome bone structure, but this week I'm playing the part of the investigative reporter. And I'm playing it so well that every character Jean-Claude Van Damme has ever played wants to bone me. Including Cyborg.