This will be the worst article I have ever written. Some would argue that that's a tall order, as I get a decent amount of hate mail assuring me that every article I write is the worst article I have ever written.
Whether your object of desire is a boy, girl, or cleverly modified stuffed animal, I hope you'll find some wisdom here that you might not find elsewhere.
Most of them are embarrassing, shameful and possibly even incriminating but he does it all without a hint of judgment because Uncle Frank knows, perhaps better than anyone, that the depth of human ignorance can never be overestimated.
Sorry, single people, this week's column is for lovers only. Now that those lonely people are gone, hold that lover close and enjoy 50 highlights from three romantic books that offer tips for every day of the year.