In the superior hemisphere it's nearly spring again, and as Americans celebrate by shedding their jackets or falling in love in parks, the IRS is beginning its gradual warm up and stretching routine in preparation for some unparalleled raping. The recession, as we've heard from elected officials and local furniture stores, is over yet the United States is still seeped in debt. As a result, the Internal Revenue Service is grinning right now in pants-down anticipation to see the flimsy deductions and forged donation receipts you try to float past them this year.

5 Baffling Real Internet Searches For Financial Advice

"Hello. I'm looking forward to hurting you."

You naturally have a lot of questions about your money, and judging by the thousands of queries posed to Internet search engines this time of year, you're not alone. Some of these questions you may even be afraid to ask because they seem illegal or stupid and I want to assure you right now that they almost certainly are. But there's one man among us who won't judge you for your ignorance, a man whose knowledge base is equal parts fiscal responsibility and non-consensual sex in government institutions: my
Uncle Frank. He's here to offer advice based on the completely honest questions that real people have asked the Internet about money and taxes. My hope is that even if you learn nothing from his advice column, it still may provide you with some solace in knowing that there are thousands of people out there in worse shape than you.

Uncle Frank's Frank Advice: An Honest, Anonymous, and Bigotry- -Flavored Money Advice Can L file my wife's tax return without her consent? When a woma

Uncle Frank's Frank Advice: A Hurricane of Help in a Sea of Confusion How do you check your credit cards for fraudulent Obama charges? I get this ques

Uncle Frank's Frank Advice: Probing for Possibilities in an Avalanche of Debt What is God's Plan for Debt? Considering man is made in God's image, we

Uncle Frank's Frank Advice: A Torrential Downpour of Truth What all can I sue for? I'm afraid suing people is an area I don't have a lot of experience

Uncle Frank's Frank Advice: Instructions for Ignoring Your Deduction Compunctions How much is my eyeball worth? hat color is the eyeball? IF it's blue

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