Some will call these little overachievers 'inspirational,' but let's be honest -- they just remind us of how much we've wasted our own lives.
Yes, people die during these races.
As tempted as you might be to shake your fists at the sky at how we've allowed conspiracy theories to get legitimate traction within our electoral system, you might be reassured to know that this sort of thing isn't new.
It turns out your legacy is only as good as the folks paying tribute to it.
'Oh dang. Dang man, dang.' 'What's the problem?' 'My giant ape. It's terrorizing the city.'
Sometimes, major corporations pull off evil so epic that we must never forget it. We should build statues of it in the desert, to warn future generations.
Sometimes industry can influence the local culture in very unpredictable ways.
Ready to find out what your final days will look like?
If you are currently at a theme park with a child, please refrain from telling them the truth about Disneyland's Morlock tunnels.
I opted to buy some local craft beers on my last trip to the Mart, during which I also bought tube socks and batteries. Why? You know why.
No writers were harmed in the making of this article. Physically, at least.
Online ads clearly know something the rest of us don't about our impending doom.