Tell Us Now: 15 Early Memes That Spread Far And Wide Without The Internet

Every generation thinks they invented The Cool S
Tell Us Now: 15 Early Memes That Spread Far And Wide Without The Internet

We asked Cracked readers on Facebook to name some juvenile jokes and bizarro info that spread across the globe back in the day, on playgrounds instead of servers. And we were reminded what dark, twisted places those playgrounds could be! 

The question we had was: how could these memes so far and so rapidly without the internet? What sort of dark, inter coastal informations networks stretched from middle school home room to middle school home room. How is it that weird-smelling Jimmy from 1st period chemistry knew the secret meaning of ADIDAS just as well as Janelle from gym class could expertly fold a MASH origami fortune oracle? Whether it be the tragic ‘poopers lament’ inscribed inside bathroom stalls all over the country or the REAL reason Marilyn Manson had a rib removed, the fact is the kids just knew.  We all just knew.

Please friend, scroll on to uncover the odd anthropological artifacts uncovered by our research into PRE INTERNET CHILDHOOD MEMES, if you dare!

TELL US NOW: PRE-INTERNET MEMES Scumbag potpourri GRACKED Russell T. heard Smoking banana peels would get you high. I mean, it would be empirically irresponsible not to test the hypothesis...
TELL US NOW: PRE-INTERNET MEMES The oath GRACKED Alex L. recalls The most solemn childhood oath, 'Cross my heart/hope to stick a needle in my eye. Of course, this blood magic could be cancelled out if one simply crossed their fingers: That negated everything.
TELL US NOW: PRE-INTERNET MEMES MASH GRACKED Breck R. recalls many a future being blessed or cursed by the holy quardrumvirate: Mansion. Apartment. Shack. House. How every 6th grader determined their future. Electra N. realized I should call my middle school boyfriends and ask when we are getting married.
TELL US NOW: PRE-INTERNET MEMES The real meaning of ADIDAS adidas GRACKED Benjamin H. spake the forbidden acronym: All Day I Dream About Sex.
TELL US NOW: PRE-INTERNET MEMES Pooper's lament GRACKED Bach Z. fondly recalls this comforting little hymn found on public toilet stalls everywhere: Here I sit all broken hearted, came to s**t but only farted.
TELL US NOW: PRE-INTERNET MEMES Marilyn Manson's elective surgery GRACKED Electra N. says they heard that he got his rib removed to... you know. In fact, they heard that same rumor while growing up in two different US states.
TELL US NOW: PRE-INTERNET MEMES The perils of Pop Rocks * TASTE The Strawberry FLAVORED CANDY EXPLOSION ARTIFICIALLY POPPING CRACKED Joe C. recalls such fearmongering rumors as Bubble Yum has spider eggs in it, and if you mix Pop Rocks with soda, your stomach can explode. Dave C. even heard that Mikey from the Life Cereal commercial died after eating Pop Rocks and drinking a Coke.
TELL US NOW: PRE-INTERNET MEMES The Barney song GRACKED Jacquelline K. recalls this oft-verboten r-remix of the world's most innocent jingle: I love you, you love me. Let's team up and k111 Barney...
TELL US NOW: PRE-INTERNET MEMES The Cool S'' GRACKED Frank H. honestly thought that that s was created in my elementary school, and was shocked when I found out that other people in other places knew about it. Other commenters recounted seeing it as far away as Colombia, and as far back as the 70's.
TELL US NOW: PRE-INTERNET MEMES Jingle bells, Batman smells.. 1738 SONIC CRACKED ...Robin layed an egg. Batmobile lost its wheel, and the Joker ran away. Hey! As Brian W. points out, the song became canon when it showed up on BTAS, with Mark Hamill's Joker singing it as he escaped Arkham.
TELL US NOW: PRE-INTERNET MEMES Sneaky Snake to TEXAS INSTRUMENTS TI-83 Plus non TABLE STATPLOT F1 TOLSET FORMAT ED CALC TRACE Y= WINDOW ZOOM GRAPH CRACKED Matthew E. knows how to spot a tech wizard among mere math nerds: The kid who could play the snake program on their graphing calculator was the coolest kid in class.
TELL US NOW: PRE-INTERNET MEMES Cootie catchers 5 the GRACKED Corwin P. says it's wild that these intricate fortune tellers were passed down from kid generation to kid generation, from their origami-like creation to the secrets trapped within. That, and the like 3 cats cradle positions everyone knew.
TELL US NOW: PRE-INTERNET MEMES Shen Long CRACKED Blake W. says every kid knew of their own unique way to unlock this super secret Street Fighter character, who wasn't even in the game and was a joke made up by a gaming magazine.
TELL US NOW: PRE-INTERNET MEMES The right ear rumor CRACKET Brad J. says that, In the 90's, if you were a man who wore a single earring in your right ear, that meant you were gay. oddly enough, after decades being active in the LGBTQ+ community, literally no one has ever used ear jewelry as an actual code.
TELL US NOW: PRE-INTERNET MEMES The Tootsie Pop rumor POP LEC ARTIFICIA FLAVOR UD RASPBERRY PALM COCOA, SOY Net We .so (17,09) MILK, SYRUB FLAVORS Tootsie SKIM GRACKED DORN RAL Adam H. says everyone learned that THIS GUY meant that you get a free Tootsie Pop. According to the official Tootsie Pop website, you have a 1-in-4 chance of getting a star on your wrapper, though free candy was never actually company policy.
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