There are classes you could take this year that could get you half-way to James Bondhood, many of them taking a week or less of your precious, movie-watching time.
Here are some uses of Santa Claus that, like magic, will convert your holiday spirit into deep, dark depression.
Hey, thanks Pablo Escobar!
Sex keeps the animal kingdom going and to meet this task, some have evolved penises that are a cape and a mask away from fighting crime.
Companies are constantly coming up with ridiculous schemes to try and motivate their employees to at least pretend that they care about their job. Next time you find yourself humiliated by having to chant company slogans in the name of team building, just keep in mind, it could be worse. Much worse.
Rather be homeless.
We hope you brought your punching shoes for this one.