James Traficant, former Democratic Congressman from Ohio, was about as far out in left field as you can get. More accurately, he was over the left field fence, in the parking lot, licking puddles of anti-freeze from under buses.
Sure, he was expelled from Congress and convicted on charges of bribery, tax evasion, racketeering and forcing his aides to do chores on his farm including bailing hay and building a corral (possibly for the bulls we assume he rode around to make his hair look like that). But that's all par for the course. If corruption proved you were crazy, half the world would be in straight jackets.No, Traficant makes it into the crazy politician hall of fame for the
"Madam Speaker, it started with the training bra and then it came to the push-up bra; the support bra, the Wonder bra, the super bra," he said. "There is even a smart bra. Now, if that is not enough to prop up your curiosity, there is now a new bra. It is called the holster bra, the gun bra. That is right, a brassiere to conceal a hidden handgun. Unbelievable. What is next? A maxi-girdle to conceal a stinger missile? Beam me up. I advise all men in America against taking women to drive-in movies who may end up getting shot in a passionate embrace. I yield back all those plain old Maidenform brassieres and chain link pantyhose."
And this awesome threat, which Cracked staff has used ever since:
"If you don't get those cameras out of my face, I'm gonna go 8.6 on the Richter scale with gastric emissions that'll clear this room."
From Traficant's own website
Currently Traficant is serving his prison sentence with a projected release date sometime in 2009. In the meantime, we assume he's using the beast on his head to warn him of any attacks from the rear in the showers or shivs out on the yard.
Probable Mental Illness:
Antisocial Personality Disorder.
Sounds like Traficant. Also Jack Nicholson's Frank Costello from The Departed.