Despite what CNN might have you believe, Hillary's cleavage-baring pantsuit will not affect your family's long term well-being. The elections that you should in fact be worrying about are the local ones, where legislation might at least have a chance of affecting your daily life in the near future, and where the candidates' sexiness (or lack thereof) is generally less newsworthy.
Who among us hasn't found themselves in the voting booth wishing that instead of choosing between interchangeable mayoral candidates who want to "improve our school," the choice was between a talking hamburger and the guy who played Batman in the sixties? And who hasn't then gone on to wonder, if you were to face that decision, whom should you vote for?
As you've probably guessed by now, we're going to tell you, in our countdown of pop culture's five greatest fictional mayors.
#5. Mayor Adam West (Family Guy)
After retiring from his previous career of televised crime-fighting, actor and batarang enthusiast Adam West was elected Mayor of a small, beer-soaked city in Rhode Island, where he immediately restored the rule of law with his brutal "self-defense" murder of the 'Noid, a known pizza thief and obscure pop culture reference.
Beyond vowing to uncover the mystery of "who's stealing the water," even if it bankrupted the city's treasury (which it subsequently did, dropping Quahog's economy to just behind Cambodia's), the Adam West administration was marked by a hard-line stance against crime that saw him strong-arm foreign heads of state, including the ambassador from Petoria. His policies also saw Quahog become the first city to legalize cat-launching crossbows as recreational weapons, despite protests from PETA, who were forced to admit after lengthy debate that "that sounds fucking awesome."
#4. Mayor McCheese (McDonald's Advertising)
Despite obvious ties to corporate money and a campaign plagued by rumors that he was threatening to unleash the Grimace on political opponents, Mayor McCheese was swept in by a landslide after former mayor Phineas Q. McRibbington stepped down to pursue a career of being delicious. Under his administration, Mayor McCheese resisted several attempts by McDonaldland's citizenry to eat his head, and even managed to reduce Hamburgling by 30 percent.
Rather than running on the issues, Mayor McCheese primarily campaigns against his frequent rival, the Burger King, whose autocratic regime saw a drastic increase in crime (most notably breaking and entering and possession of a Croissan'wich with intent to distribute), as well as the rise of the insidious "Chicken Fries," which stand as an affront to both God and Man. Also fondly remembered by Europeans for his moving speech to a divided Germany, where he famously announced "Ich bin ein Hamburger."