Why doesn't St. Patty's day have greeting cards like the holiday celebrating St. Valentine? For a lot of very, very good reasons.


LET'S FCK IN THE BATHROOM! CRACKEDCON
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LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHIN, YOU DUMB COCKSUCKER. I'LL FLBGR YR FUCKN GRDL PHGYDS SONOFAGGGG TALKTOMELIKE YOURGGH DGDG LOVE YOU MAN BRGL YA CUNT ATA CRAC


KISS ME, I VOMITED ALL OVER MY PANTS CRACKED


IT ONLY HURTS THE FIRST TIME GRAGKEDCON


IE I COULD STICK IT IN ANY GIRL IN THIS BAR, IT'D BE YOU CRACKEDco


COULDN'T HELP NOTICING YOU'RE-BLACK CRACKEDCON


I'LL STOP BOTHERING YOU, MISS, IF YOU CAN BEST ME IN A FIGHT CRACKEDCON


HEY, LET'S ALL SING IN THE WHISKEY JAR ANOTHER 50,000 MOTHERFUCKING TIMES CRAGKEDCOM

If you liked that, you just might enjoy these Honest Valentine's Day Cards. Then go read Ross Wolinsky's additions to the Catholic Church's All-New 7 Deadly Sins (with a video of a Chilean tranny dwarf dressed up as Amy Winehouse thrown in for good measure).

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