Look, we're not going to try to sway you on any one issue, but you should know that there are some factual points that almost everyone gets wrong.
Halloween isn't always the beacon of snack-sized Snickers and girls dressed as Kojak with cleavage that it should be. For years, nefarious little shits have been trying to have their way with it and make it awful, because some people just want to watch the world burn.
It's the question every stoned person has asked before: How would life be different if animals could talk to us? No but seriously, think about how would things would, like, change man.
For artists, it must be complete agony to see their hard-labored brainchildren banned, censored or outright destroyed -- which makes it all the more baffling when they choose to do it themselves.
Even if you've never, say, pulled a gun on somebody who cut you off in traffic, you've probably only imagined yourself doing it. Not everyone is capable of such restraint.
Bad news dweebs, consider this column the shitty popcorn ball in your bag of candy. With any luck, it will spoil your favorite holiday just a little bit.
Since all of human history consists of people thinking of ways to take good ideas and make them terrible, these days copyright laws have been taken to absurd extremes.
Turns out that back in the day, the Man of Steel was less of a big blue Boy Scout and more of a raging anti-establishment maniac in red underpants who spent more time destroying property than catching criminals.