New Year's Eve is, quite simply, a bad and broken drinking holiday.
None of us knows what, exactly, goes into city planning, but somewhere along the line, somebody accidentally CC'ed the insane asylum, and we wound up with the following civilizations that simply should not be.
The editors said I couldn't do it. Well they- they were right.
Now that's how you overthink a hypothetical question.
Each year Cracked takes time to remember the slightly less famous people who maybe didn't revolutionize the PC and music industries, but who still left an interesting little mark on the culture. These are the most overlooked deaths of 2011.
While I can accept whatever's in people's hearts, there's no reason the rest of us have to keep hearing about it. Here are the four things about God I've heard enough of from both atheists and the devout.
Merry Christmas testosterone: Man Comics!
This year, instead of going all over the Internet and reading everything you come across, I'll save us all some time and just tell you the kind of Christmas articles you're going to see. This year and every year.
We find it so fascinating to go back and understand where the words we use actually came from. Yet out of all the times we've done this previously, these origins might just take the cake.
When it comes time to make holiday decorations, the line between festive and nightmarish is razor thin.
Every kid knew that there was an inherent risk in asking Santa for an action figure, because parents usually figured that as long as it had the right logo on the box, they were on the safe side. This, naturally, caused many a tear-filled holiday.
The busiest fighting week of the year is almost upon us. Across the world families will soon come together and rediscover the reasons they moved apart in the first place, arguments growing into fights, growing into turkey-scented orgies of ruptured feelings.
Back in the day, nobody called themselves a nerd. Other people called them that, and then gave them a wedgie. Now, many people get so proud of being nerds that they get mad when anyone implies they are not a real nerd. How did this happen?