The beach is a simple place where people go to relax, escape their obligations and have painful, gritty sex under the boardwalk. But bathers are often unprepared for how crowded, and deadly, the beach can be.
I'm not here to persuade or dissuade, but merely to offer a few tips and life lessons from one who has acted as the hot, breathy soul of plush cartoon characters and lived to tell about it.
Despite limitations, brave people throughout history have heroically told gravity to go straight to hell. And some of them even lived through it.
Ah, glorious nature! Truly, the great outdoors is where a man belongs: Hunting bears, wrestling bears into submission, making sweet love to your newly conquered bear-wife 'neath the effervescent twinkling of the star's knowing gaze -- the simple pleasures really are the best.
If on your next flight you wanted to print out of a copy of these and glue them inside your in-flight magazine, I'm not sure how anyone could stop you, provided your glue container is less than 3.5 ounces
It's time again for our most popular feature, in which we take photos that have made millions of Internet users scream 'FAKE!' and prove that they are, in fact, real.
Like most of you, I grew up in a place where every local used car dealer and mattress retailer was crazy. It was the only way to explain their insane prices! If those guys went on Amazon.com, their heads would explode.
Like any other job that involves dealing with the public, you meet some interesting people along the way. I'm going to talk about one group in particular today: the delusional.
Once again, real life kicks fiction's ass when it comes to situations that seem too absurd to be real.
You proud of what you've got going on around your house? Doesn't matter, whatever you've got doesn't compare to these mind-boggling one-man projects.
I figured I'd give a go at explaining this baffling affection, and maybe shed some light on what makes the box that occasionally takes you to the store something more special.
Some jobs out there seem to be suitable for everyone, yet once you actually start doing them, you realize they're at a level of soul-shattering awfulness heretofore unexperienced by many.
We're sorry to say, but the number of crazy people in the medical establishment is greater than zero. Just look at these cases.
Where you find a border, you usually find somebody pissed off about it.