Usually, when cops get a call about a domestic disturbance, it's just another day at the office. You show up, make Cletus put his pants back on, confiscate the bath salts, the usual. Not for the poor guys who responded to a disturbance in Yorktown, Virginia, in 2011. For one thing, the guy they were there to help was sitting in a car with a trailer attached. A flaming trailer. For another, the guy in the car attached to the burning trailer refused to get out, not for the police or for the firemen or for the promise of a Big Gulp, a trick that usually works with these types.
"Come on out so we can have sex with you. We love arsonists, and we're totally not cops."
And that's when one of the firefighters noticed the wire around the driver's neck ... the wire that went out the back window and was snugly tied to a tree 10 feet away. This was no ordinary domestic disturbance. This dude wasn't just a troubled soul having a freakout at the trailer park; he was going out like the shiniest star in the crazysphere.
Before anyone could stop him, the driver stepped on the gas, the car zoomed forward and the wire snapped. The unnamed victim was whipped out the rear window and his head was removed. And the whole ordeal wasn't even over -- the trailer detached from the truck and kept rolling, flames sky high in the air, head and body both left behind. Here's the ABC News link if you don't believe us. Welcome to the goddamned Cracked Halloween Real Urban Legends list, baby.
f**k off, buddy. Nothing you do can ever top the horrors of reality.