Here are five more horrible, cliched jokes that workers have to hear every day, and how I think those workers should be allowed to react in a just world.
Since the world can turn any apartment into a Wearegettingthroughthisgoddamnit Bunker, why not make the space you're hunkered down in worth the hunkering?
Always make sure to check if the mere existence of your product insults your entire consumer base so viciously that they show up at your factory with pitchforks.
It's too late for this Christmas, but you could finally fulfill your yearly vow to get your Christmas shopping done early and buy now for 2014.
You can only learn the most about people when you are totally hammered.
You can sit around and worry about debt ceilings and terror attacks, but take a moment to appreciate that you happen to be alive during the golden age of humanity.
This year was not the year you thought it was. So if you wrongly believe what year it currently is, this will be the most important thing you will read all year. Year year year.
Whoa, buddy, we didn't ask for your life story. All we ask is that you check out the very newest shirt offering from the Cracked Dispensary.
Here are five of the most ridiculous questions we were asked in 2013 that we should've already known the answers to.
Masturbation is fun, but the ultimate self-gratification is giving yourself one these.
What is it that compels some people to take a less than favorable stance on the public service that police provide? It probably has something to do with stories like these.