Cracked Archive - News

5 Jokes That Make Customer Service People Hate You (Pt. 2)

Here are five more horrible, cliched jokes that workers have to hear every day, and how I think those workers should be allowed to react in a just world.

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Store Update: A Sale as Black as the Frozen Heart of Winter

Since the world can turn any apartment into a Wearegettingthroughthisgoddamnit Bunker, why not make the space you're hunkered down in worth the hunkering?

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5 Huge Brands That Pissed Off Whole Countries With Marketing

Always make sure to check if the mere existence of your product insults your entire consumer base so viciously that they show up at your factory with pitchforks.

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Time to Buy the Shirts You Really Wanted

It's too late for this Christmas, but you could finally fulfill your yearly vow to get your Christmas shopping done early and buy now for 2014.

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The 5 People You Become After a Night of Drinking

You can only learn the most about people when you are totally hammered.

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5 Amazing Pieces of Good News Nobody Is Reporting

You can sit around and worry about debt ceilings and terror attacks, but take a moment to appreciate that you happen to be alive during the golden age of humanity.

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5 Reasons 2013 Was Actually 1996 All Over Again

This year was not the year you thought it was. So if you wrongly believe what year it currently is, this will be the most important thing you will read all year. Year year year.

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Put Everything Awesome on Your Body Before It's Too Late

Whoa, buddy, we didn't ask for your life story. All we ask is that you check out the very newest shirt offering from the Cracked Dispensary.

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5 Shocking Failures in 2013 We Should Have Seen Coming

Here are five of the most ridiculous questions we were asked in 2013 that we should've already known the answers to.

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Nudity is Overrated, Wear a T-Shirt

Masturbation is fun, but the ultimate self-gratification is giving yourself one these.

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5 Recent Trends That Make It Hard to Trust the Police

What is it that compels some people to take a less than favorable stance on the public service that police provide? It probably has something to do with stories like these.

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