Cracked Archive - News

The 16 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (3/15)
The 16 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (3/15)

The news is like a series of strangers saying, 'This milk is spoiled! Here, smell it! I SAID SMELL IT.'

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5 Alright Bands That Are One Tiny Change Away From Greatness
5 Alright Bands That Are One Tiny Change Away From Greatness

The Foo Fighters best albums were all done using three band members. Can't be a coincidence.

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Why Donald Trump Doesn't Tell It Like It Is
Why Donald Trump Doesn't Tell It Like It Is

Donald Trump does not tell it like it is and does not say what people wish they could say. He says what people are entertained to hear.

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The 15 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (3/8)
The 15 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (3/8)

The news is crafted specifically to cater to people who enjoy being angry and/or terrified.

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My Brief Time As Donald Trump's Campaign Manager
My Brief Time As Donald Trump's Campaign Manager

To do over again, sure, I probably wouldn't have helped Donald Trump run for president.

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5 Very Possible Nightmare Scenarios From A Trump Presidency
5 Very Possible Nightmare Scenarios From A Trump Presidency

Let's talk about why we're doomed, America!

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5 Ways We Got The Trump Campaign Wrong: An Insider Explains
5 Ways We Got The Trump Campaign Wrong: An Insider Explains

How did Donald Trump do it, and why didn't any of the conventional political experts see it coming?

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The 14 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (3/1)
The 14 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (3/1)

The news can seem like this is all an elaborate prank being played by a billionaire for his reality show.

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Why Professor Indiana Jones Was Hated By His Colleagues
Why Professor Indiana Jones Was Hated By His Colleagues

We must say that the title 'God Melted Some Nazi Faces In Front Of Me' simply doesn't fit our journal's aesthetic.

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The 14 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (2/23)
The 14 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (2/23)

Today's news is like a less plausible version of the wacky fake headlines from 1980s movies set in the future.

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5 Reasons To Like (Or At Least Respect) Martin Shkreli
5 Reasons To Like (Or At Least Respect) Martin Shkreli

I have a feeling this won't be a popular column. Don't ask me why. Just a feeling, I suppose.

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I'm Asian: 6 Forms Of Racism I Deal With Every Day
I'm Asian: 6 Forms Of Racism I Deal With Every Day

Just because it's no longer socially acceptable doesn't mean people don't still harbor some subconscious racist beliefs.

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The 14 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (2/16)
The 14 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (2/16)

The news is like 'The Walking Dead,' only without that show's sense of naive optimism.

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5 Weird Ways America Has Returned To The Dark Ages
5 Weird Ways America Has Returned To The Dark Ages

The Dark Ages earned that name at least in part because there's a noticeable lack of contemporary records, a trait eerily similar to our country today.

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The 13 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (2/9)
The 13 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (2/9)

The news is like an alarm that sounds 24 hours a day, alternately screaming that you're going to die and that you need to ask your doctor about erectile dysfunction pills.

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