Cracked Archive - News

Hey It's Me, The One Guy Who Footloose Turned Against Trump
Hey It's Me, The One Guy Who Footloose Turned Against Trump

While there's a depressing lack of Kevin Bacon involved here, the central anti-authority message of 'Footloose' is still holding strong.

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5 True Stories That Put Every Horror Movie To Shame
5 True Stories That Put Every Horror Movie To Shame

Turns out Hollywood still can't hold a candle to good, old-fashioned reality.

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Forget Fake, This News Is Certifiably Insane
Forget Fake, This News Is Certifiably Insane

Trump firing Comey is like you defiling your neighbor's lawn, then having the ability to kick them out of their house for complaining about it.

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The 15 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (5/16/17)
The 15 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (5/16/17)

The weekly news cycle has turned into a funhouse mirror maze.

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How Dumb Do You Have To Be To Try And Hold Netflix Ransom?
How Dumb Do You Have To Be To Try And Hold Netflix Ransom?

The DarkOverlord are trying their best to be a grandiose antagonist that you can almost see their fedoras and anime body pillows poking through their threats.

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Why Our Beef With North Korea Is Mostly Theatrics
Why Our Beef With North Korea Is Mostly Theatrics

Trump is showman, and North Korea has a long history of saying they're going to nuke whoever looks at them funny.

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Here Are 10 Amazing Things You Probably Didn't Know (5/7/17)
Here Are 10 Amazing Things You Probably Didn't Know (5/7/17)

At no cost whatsoever, we are providing these completely true facts you can use to spice up your small talk.

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How History's Villains Always Get Their Comeuppance
How History's Villains Always Get Their Comeuppance

Dear Kay Ivey: The internet never forgets.

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The 15 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (5/9/17)
The 15 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (5/9/17)

The news outlets are the Tamagotchis of the new millennium.

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6 Underreported Reasons Why The NY Times Totally Sucks
6 Underreported Reasons Why The NY Times Totally Sucks

Not to sound like Trump, but there are actually several reasons to harbor a strong dislike for the 'NYT.'

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A 10th Grader Explains The Civil War To Donald Trump
A 10th Grader Explains The Civil War To Donald Trump

I feel like Lincoln was bad at his job. Couldn't he have just, like, given the South a Pepsi?

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A Zero B.S. Guide To American Healthcare
A Zero B.S. Guide To American Healthcare

Why the hell is it so difficult to make major changes to the healthcare system in America?

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10 Eyebrow-Arching Facts
10 Eyebrow-Arching Facts

At no cost whatsoever, here are some completely true facts you can use to spice up your small talk.

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Why The Fyre Festival Attendees Should've Seen It Coming
Why The Fyre Festival Attendees Should've Seen It Coming

What music fan with $12,000 to spare wouldn't jump at the chance to drop that on a chance to see Ja Rule? Ja Rule!

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5 Deeply Embarrassing Things The News Keeps Doing
5 Deeply Embarrassing Things The News Keeps Doing

Our ability to share massive amounts of information also means we can share massive amounts of garbage.

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