Cracked Archive - News
The Plaza Hotel Offers A Home Alone 2 Experience... Finally?
Good news, everyone! The Plaza Hotel in New York has heard your vehement, rabid, horny calls for a 'Home Alone 2'-inspired getaway.
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- By Tim Hawkman, Ian Fortey
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21
21 The 6 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (11/21/17)
We’ve got your dinner conversation covered.
- Authors
- By T. S. Obiech, Scott Laffey
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- Comments
- 245
Bus Interrupts Cameraman's Once In A Lifetime Shot
Let us have a moment of silence for the poor Weather Channel cameraman whose soul was crushed by this bus.
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- By Katie Goldin, Andres Diplotti
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- 23
What Stupid Thing Is Trending Now (11/26/2017)
Jim Bakker would like you to buy his $60 bucket of pancake mix, which he claims can help protect you from damnation.
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- By Katie Goldin, Andres Diplotti
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- 76
Who Chose Lena Dunham To Represent Millennial Women?
Every time Lena Dunham makes a mistake, the world collectively turns to all Millennial women and says, 'Well, what do you have to say for her?'
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- By Tim Hawkman, Lydia Bugg
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- 259
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Somehow 'Plantation Weddings' Are Still A Thing
There is apparently some confusion about the difference between remembering the past and celebrating it.
- Authors
- By Anonymous, Andrea Meno
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- Comments
- 501
What Happened This Week (In 2017)
With so many news sources shouting for your attention, it's hard to figure out what's truly important.
- Authors
- By T. S. Obiech, Scott Laffey
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- Comments
- 339
Who Is The Culprit Behind The Sephora Eyeshadow Caper?
Apparently, there was a trail of little glittery footprints in the wake of the eyeshadow attack.
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- By Randall Maynard, Katie Goldin
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- 38
Set Your Ovens To 420: There's A Cheetos Turkey Recipe
The jig is up: Reynolds knows we're all going to be absolutely baked this Thanksgiving.
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- By Katie Goldin, Andres Diplotti
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- 12
Designer Pasta Means Rich People Have Run Out Of Ideas
I don't understand how you can make dried pasta gourmet.
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- By Randall Maynard, Katie Goldin
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- 14
The ACLU Should Use Truck Nuts As A Free Speech Precedent
I'm not some kind of fancy city lawyer, but if you can apply this law to a bumper sticker, what of truck nuts?
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- By Katie Goldin, Andres Diplotti
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- 80
Affleck Seems To Think It's Ok To Joke About Harassment Now
Powerful men are accustomed to a certain amount of formulaic lenience.
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- By Randall Maynard, Katie Goldin
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- Comments
- 86
What Stupid Thing Is Trending Now (11/19/2017)
Sexy comes in many different, subjective flavors.
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- By Katie Goldin, Andres Diplotti
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- 136
The 6 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (11/14/17)
We follow the news, so you don't have to.
- Authors
- By T. S. Obiech, Scott Laffey
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- Comments
- 350
Are Gorillas Using Tinder Now? Spoilers: No, They're Not
As adorable as this video is, it's important to remember that gorilla body language doesn't always translate well to humans.
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- By Katie Goldin, Andres Diplotti
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- 11
