Cracked Archive - News
9 Hard Truths Trump Wishes He Knew Before Becoming President
There are drawbacks to being an outsider.
- By Aaron Kheifets
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- February 11, 2017
Why The Viral 'I Left The Left' Is Based On B.S. Logic
Dave Rubin runs through a list of the outrageous things he claims 'progressives' want, but nothing he mentions bears any resemblance to anything I or anybody I have ever met is actually fighting for.
- By J.F. Sargent
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- February 08, 2017
Everything You Need To Know About Pizzagate (Is Insane)
The people who concocted this theory should be ashamed for wasting a perfectly good name like 'Pizzagate.'
- By CRACKED Writing Staff, Andres Diplotti
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- February 07, 2017
An Insanely Depressing Day In The Life Of Donald Trump
Prepare for the seriously researched, definitive schedule of Donald Jamillah Trump that is in no way designed to antagonize him or his supporters.
- By David Christopher Bell
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- February 05, 2017
Why Democrats Are Every School Yard Bully's Wet Dream
In reality, if a werewolf tried to play high school basketball, he'd be shot in the face by Betsy DeVos.
- By CRACKED Staff
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- February 04, 2017
The 15 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (2/7/17)
This week we rolled out our weekly news feature like the good SuperBowl ads -- a few at a time, spread out over time.
- By T. S. Obiech, Scott Laffey
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- February 02, 2017
5 Embarrassing Secrets Hiding In Trump's Cabinet
This is information America needs to hear. You're welcome.
- By Chris Rio
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- January 28, 2017
The 14 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (1/31/17)
The weekly news cycle is like a Shia LaBeouf performance piece.
- By T. S. Obiech, Scott Laffey
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- January 26, 2017
5 Huge Problems Nobody Told You About American Healthcare
The causes of our terrible health care system are pretty obvious, but for some reason, nobody has figured out how to make them go away.
- By Jim Avery
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- January 25, 2017
The 4 Worst Reactions To The Women's March
There are a few things the people who protest protests from their Facebooks don't realize.
- By J.F. Sargent
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- January 24, 2017
The 15 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (1/24/17)
No reasonable person can stay sane keeping up with every headline, which is why we're doing it for you.
- By T. S. Obiech, Scott Laffey
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- January 19, 2017
The Creepy Religion That Explains All Of Trump's Actions
When it comes to the basics of Christianity, Trump could really do with a refresher course.
- By Kathy Benjamin
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- January 19, 2017
6 Honest Assessments About The Chance Of World War 3
Is Trump going to start World War III?
- By David Christopher Bell
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- January 18, 2017
Trump News: What You Read On Social Media Vs. The Truth
We've collected and summarized all the news you should know, so you can stay informed and have more time to think of better 'golden shower' puns.
- By CRACKED Staff
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- January 13, 2017
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