New Monolith Spotted in California, Quickly Destroyed By ET-Dissing Right-Wing Vandals
Once is a fluke, twice is a coincidence, and three times is definitely the work of aliens -- well, at least in the case of the mysterious monoliths that keep popping up around the world. Yet another triangular metal structure has been spotted atop a hiking trail in central California, sparking confusion, annoyance, and a whole lot of tourists, the LA Times reports. Similar to the structures that appeared then inexplicably vanished in southern Utah and Romania over the past few weeks, the new monolith first made headlines on Wednesday, with hikers climbing approximately two miles to the peak of Pine Mountain Loop in San Luis Obispo County to see the slab for themselves.
"I think it disappeared from Utah and landed right here in Atascadero," hiker Blake Khun told local Fox affiliate, KKFX while seemingly climbing the trail.
Yet just like its predecessors, the figure didn't last long. Soon after it made headlines, right-wing vandals who seemed to see the structure as a threat to Jesus (?) tore down the monolith, replacing it with a wooden cross, Vice News reported, further proving why we just can't have nice things.
In a video streamed on Blockchain site DLive, three men, one of which was notably sporting a MAGA headband, spent a minute and change struggling to shimmy down the monolith, chanting "Christ is king" and "America first" all the while. "Christ is king in this country," said one person in the video. "We don't want illegal aliens from Mexico or outer space, so let's tear this bitch down." I bet they must be really sore today from all that mental gymnastics. Way to piss off our apparent monolith-communicating alien overlords. Yikes.
So, Aliens, if you're reading this, I swear we're not all racist dingbats like these guys. Oh, and maybe postpone your invasion until after the pandemic ends. We can only handle a few unprecedented phenomena at a time, my extraterrestrial friends.
Top Image: KKFX 11