The complainers will never be convinced, so I say let's just do this without them...
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It Doesn't Require An Act Of Government, Or Anyone Else
Even if Santa Claus himself descended from the heavens and told everyone Christmas is now going to occur in July, some, if not most Americans would still celebrate it on the usual day. Nothing I or anyone else can say will change that. But there is no reason a bunch of us can't just do it on our own. I mean, it didn't take a church or government to declare April 20th to be Weed Day; it was an informal movement. This can be, too.
And even if the country doesn't feel like spending June putting up lights and mistletoe (wait, is mistletoe even a real thing, or is it just in movies?), any individual can do it. For example, if you're afraid to disappoint and/or enrage family with news that you won't be traveling back home this month, it'll go a lot easier if you can circle a date on the calendar when you will be there. They haven't lost one of life's precious few holiday seasons; we're just pushing it back. Families have been doing this forever, waiting for a kid to get back from the Army or a parent to get home from the hospital before opening the gifts. Holidays are human creations, and they should obey us, damn it.
And the more of us who do this on an individual basis, the more lives will be saved. Will this create a crunch on Santa's end for December 2021 since a new batch of elves have to be cloned and trained every year? Sure. Is it possible that, in his rage, Santa will unleash an even worse plague? Yeah, he's said as much. I say we do it anyway. Let's #MoveXmasToJuly.
You can pre-order Jason "David Wong" Pargin's book Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick on Amazon, at Barnes and Noble, Bookshop, or any place books like this are sold. You can also follow him on Twitter, his Instagram, or Facebook, or YouTube or Goodreads or his mailing list or any of the many accounts he's forgotten about.
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