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Cracked Archive - News

Who Is The Culprit Behind The Sephora Eyeshadow Caper?
Who Is The Culprit Behind The Sephora Eyeshadow Caper?

Apparently, there was a trail of little glittery footprints in the wake of the eyeshadow attack.

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Set Your Ovens To 420: There's A Cheetos Turkey Recipe
Set Your Ovens To 420: There's A Cheetos Turkey Recipe

The jig is up: Reynolds knows we're all going to be absolutely baked this Thanksgiving.

12
Justice League Proves DC Learned Nothing From Suicide Squad
Justice League Proves DC Learned Nothing From Suicide Squad

I would rather see Zack Snyder's 'Justice League' than whatever Frankenstein monster the stitched-together Zack Snyder / Joss Whedon 'Justice League' has turned out to be.

0
Designer Pasta Means Rich People Have Run Out Of Ideas
Designer Pasta Means Rich People Have Run Out Of Ideas

I don't understand how you can make dried pasta gourmet.

14
The ACLU Should Use Truck Nuts As A Free Speech Precedent
The ACLU Should Use Truck Nuts As A Free Speech Precedent

I'm not some kind of fancy city lawyer, but if you can apply this law to a bumper sticker, what of truck nuts?

80
We Fantasy Cast The New Mario Bros, You're Welcome, Nintendo
We Fantasy Cast The New Mario Bros, You're Welcome, Nintendo

We feel that we can do Mario justice.

0
Affleck Seems To Think It's Ok To Joke About Harassment Now
Affleck Seems To Think It's Ok To Joke About Harassment Now

Powerful men are accustomed to a certain amount of formulaic lenience.

86
What Stupid Thing Is Trending Now (11/19/2017)
What Stupid Thing Is Trending Now (11/19/2017)

Sexy comes in many different, subjective flavors.

137
The 6 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (11/14/17)
The 6 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (11/14/17)

We follow the news, so you don't have to.

351
How To Keep The 'LOTR' Series From Being An Expensive Flop
How To Keep The 'LOTR' Series From Being An Expensive Flop

Amazon just paid half of all the money in the world to get the right to Lord of the Rings .

0
Are Gorillas Using Tinder Now? Spoilers: No, They're Not
Are Gorillas Using Tinder Now? Spoilers: No, They're Not

As adorable as this video is, it's important to remember that gorilla body language doesn't always translate well to humans.

11
There's Gourmet Sushi For Dogs (Who Lick Their Own Butts)
There's Gourmet Sushi For Dogs (Who Lick Their Own Butts)

Dogs need a lot of love, cuddles, food, and occasionally, for their owner to clean poop off their butt fur.

7
The DC Universe Is Just A String Of Nonsensical Reboots
The DC Universe Is Just A String Of Nonsensical Reboots

Hey! 'Justice League' comes out this Friday. Y'all excited about that?

0
The BBC Quoted A Hardcore Porn Website's Anti-Trump Tweet
The BBC Quoted A Hardcore Porn Website's Anti-Trump Tweet

I'm offended by the implication that hardcore porn sites can't have political opinions.

14
Smart Hannity Fans Smash Their Own Coffee Makers In Protest
Smart Hannity Fans Smash Their Own Coffee Makers In Protest

You know what really triggers liberals? When you destroy your own expensive property.

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