Cracked Archive - News
'CatDog' Lied: Science Says Dogs Could Be Smarter Than Cats
It turns out cartoons lied to us.
- Authors
- By Randall Maynard, Katie Goldin
- Published
- Comments
-
63
63 Drone Footage Shows Chill Shark Swimming Near Chill People
Yes, you should get to shore and away from the shark, but try to do it without wriggling around like live bait.
- Authors
- By Katie Goldin, Andres Diplotti
- Published
- Comments
- 21
Pizza Hut Introduced A Vegan Pizza. Oh The Humanity.
Not a single one of my vegan or vegetarian friends has ever lectured me about meat.
- Authors
- By Randall Maynard, Katie Goldin
- Published
- Comments
- 57
Sorry Katy Perry: Scientists Warn Glitter Is A Global Threat
I'm going to come out with an incredibly brave take: ban glitter.
- Authors
- By Katie Goldin, Andres Diplotti
- Published
- Comments
- 24
Google's Screen Snooper Alert Software Has Dark Potential
What I do on my phone or computer is between me and my doctor.
- Authors
- By Randall Maynard, Katie Goldin
- Published
- Comments
- 1
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Prisons Ban Shakespearean Love Sonnets But Allow Mein Kampf
The Texas Department of Criminal Justice has taken their book banning to a capricious extreme.
- Authors
- By Katie Goldin, Andres Diplotti
- Published
- Comments
- 9
Trump Thinks Human Memory Is Worse Than A Goldfish's
I wake up every day a blank slate.
- Authors
- By Randall Maynard, Katie Goldin
- Published
- Comments
- 27
Inventor of Substitute Phones Is Too Optimistic About Humans
We don't love, cherish, and try to legally marry our phones because of our ability to fondle them.
- Authors
- By Katie Goldin, Andres Diplotti
- Published
- Comments
- 10
16 Amazing Things You Probably Didn't Know
Completely true facts to spice up your small talk game.
- Authors
- By CRACKED Writing Staff, Andres Diplotti
- Published
- Comments
- 75
The 6 Most Important Things You Need To Know On Friday 11/24
We follow the news, so you don't have to.
- Authors
- By T. S. Obiech, Scott Laffey
- Published
- Comments
- 249
Watch Your Back Mark Wahlberg: DARPA Is Making Spy Plants
There's a big, glaring weakness with this plant technology, if we are to use them in a wartime scenario ...
- Authors
- By Katie Goldin, Andres Diplotti
- Published
- Comments
- 13
How Did This Suggestive Statue Get Past Quality Control?
What sculptor would look at this without even the slightest of niggling doubts?
- Authors
- By Randall Maynard, Katie Goldin
- Published
- Comments
- 41
KFC's Escape Pod Is Definitely A Murder Cage, Right?
KFC needs to lay off the herbs and spices.
- Authors
- By Tim Hawkman, Luis Prada
- Published
- Comments
- 39
6 Times The News Went Totally Overboard Chasing A Story
It might sound impossible to anyone living in the year 2017, but once upon a time, there was a thing called a 'slow news day.'
- Authors
- By Alex Hanton
- Published
- Comments
- 54
Tourists Fined For Borat Costumes Don't Realize It's 2017
Sasha Baron Cohen paid the fines for these mankini-wearing miscreants.
- Authors
- By Katie Goldin, Andres Diplotti
- Published
- Comments
- 31
