Cracked Archive - News

Elon Musk's New EDM Single Is, Thankfully, Terrible
Much to everyone's relief, it turns out Elon Musk is not a musical comedy genius.
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- By Amanda Mannen
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22
Little-Known, Infuriating Truths About Applying To College
The application process is only getting worse.
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- By Mark Hill
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63
Horror Movie-Type Stuff (That Really Happened)
Stand down, Hollywood. We can skip these harrowing stories.
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- By Alex Hanton, E. Reid Ross, E.M. Caris, Christian Markle
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24
Ring Is Just Another App That's Spying On You
The doorbell app knows every detail of your life, like every other app you use.
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- By Amanda Mannen
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2
Boeing's 737 Debacle Now Extends To A Pair Of Nesting Falcons
Boeing can't get its 737 MAX off the ground, and that's bad news for the speedy Peregrine Falcons living inside the factory.
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- By Isaac Cabe
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A First Look At Unsanctioned, Magic: The Gathering's New Set
Squirrels, goblins, and chickens, oh my!
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- By Cyriaque Lamar
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29
Akon's Akoin Acropolis Accepted As Actual Area Of Africa
Get ready for Akon City, baby!
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- By Isaac Cabe
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0
Why The New York Times Opinion Section Is So Bad
What gives?
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- By Adam Wears
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125
Mr. Peanut Is Dead, Long Live Mr. Peanut
Nothing like a salty snack to remind you that death awaits us all.
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- By Amanda Mannen
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32
Dumb Courtroom Sketches: The Impeachment Coverage We Deserve
They are, appropriately, stupid and surreal.
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- By Luis Prada
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1
It's Raining Iguanas In Florida Because, Well... Florida
Like much of Florida, it's alarming but harmless.
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- By Amanda Mannen
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0
5 Temper Tantrums That Spiraled Out of Control
Telling a child 'no' comes with inherent risks.
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- By Mary Claire Potts
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106
The Space Force's Jungle Camo Uniforms Really Suck
Perfect for hiding behind space trees.
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- By Luis Prada
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1
5 Absurdly Petty Abuses Of Power By The Cops
All Cops Are Babies
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- By Adam Wears
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135
The Game Of Thrones Prequel Is (Probably Not) Coming in 2022
Don't get your hopes up.
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- By Amanda Mannen
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