Move over electric watches and glowing lightsaber spoons, it seems beloved sugary breakfast staple, Cinnamon Toast Crunch has upped their cereal prize game, reportedly offering their loyal customers an opulent new gift worth more than its weight in cinnamon sugar –what appears to be a pair of shrimp tails and possibly some rat poop.
On Monday, author Jensen Karp found himself in a fishy situation when he happened across what appeared to be two shrimp-y remains while preparing his morning bowl of cereal. Apparently unamused by the addition of extra protein to his breakfast, Karp did what many of us would do when faced with an absurd consumer-related situation – take Twitter to express his concern.
Although at first, Cinnamon Toast Crunch's Twitter responded with a seemingly canned customer service reply, apologizing for the mishap, saying they would report it to their “quality team,” and offering their alarmed customer a free replacement box, relations between Karp and the cereal brand quickly devolved.
When the writer oh-so-shockingly turned down a new box of sugary, (potentially shrimp-y) goodness, reps for the General Mills-owned product took matters into their own hands, launching a CIA-level probe into the matter, leaving no stoned unturned in their pursuit of cinnamon-y justice.
“After further investigation with our team that closely examined the image, it appears to be an accumulation of the cinnamon sugar that sometimes can occur when ingredients aren't thoroughly blended,” the company responded shortly thereafter. “We assure you that there's no possibility of cross-contamination with shrimp.”
Despite their oh-so tireless efforts to rectify the situation, which may or may not have consisted of simply zooming in on the picture in question, Karp, now with comedian Seth Rogen by his side …
… countered their assessment, citing his wildly superhuman abilities to see and recognize (what may be) shrimp tails, even when covered in cinnamon sugar, as a proper rebuttal to the cereal maker. “Ok, we’ll after further investigation with my eyes, these are cinnamon coated SHRIMP TAILS, you weirdos,” he wrote. “I wasn’t all that mad until you now tried to gaslight me?”
Shortly after their denial, it seems General Mills may have somewhat come around – at least according to screenshots of messages Karp posted on Twitter, with the company attempting to smooth over the discrepancy …
… and asking him to send in samples of the items found in his box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch for further testing.
Yet as they worked to resolve the matter yet another disturbing, potentially fecal, a development further complicated the matter. Upon looking through the box more thoroughly, from which Karp said he had already eaten a bowl of cereal, the writer claims he found a myriad of other items that typically shouldn't be eaten with milk and perhaps a sprinkling of sugar, including what appears to be string, more shrimp shells, and strange, black bits baked into several of the crispy squares, which some speculate may be rat poop. Delicious!
While Cinnamon Toast Crunch has since issued a statement on the matter, advising consumers to avoid eating boxes that appear to be taped shut, as Karp's box, the company has still stood by its initial assessment, refusing to publicly acknowledge the items could possibly be anything but suspiciously shrimp-shaped sugar clumps.
As such, Karp says he's taken his personal investigation to the next level, bringing the suspected shrimp tails and the specks that may or may not be fecal matter to experts for further testing.
So folks, if you're looking for a creative new way to bump up your protein intake in your quest to get swole for summer, it seems Cinnamon Toast Crunch may have you covered. Mmmmm, Cinnamon Shrimp Crunch!