Cracked Archive - News

Who Exactly Is The Internet's Dancing Pumpkin Man?
He has to be doing *something* when he's not dancing to 'Ghostbusters' or that one trap version of 'Spooky Scary Skeletons'
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- By Carly Tennes
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9
Couple Who Met at Dunkin' Donuts Just Got Married -- At The Dunkin' Donuts Drive Through
Here comes the bride -- and the donuts.
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- By Carly Tennes
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8
Massive 2,000-Year-Old Cat Drawing Discovered In Peru
Ancient drawings of giant cats -- the one thing we actually need more of this year.
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- By Carly Tennes
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11
2020-Themed Christmas Ornaments Are Now A Thing, I Guess
Move over, sexy hand sanitizer Halloween costumes, Christmas this year comes complete with glittery toilet paper ornaments.
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- By Carly Tennes
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15
Teen Girl Dates Godzilla -- Like Actually
And we thought we were into bad boys ...
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- By Carly Tennes
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8
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How Did The 'Dilbert' Guy's Brain Melt?
- Authors
- By Mark Hill
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110
Japanese Amusement Park Opens To Give Remote Workers A "Workcation"
Need a break from the WFH life? Try WFFW (work from ferris wheel).
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- By Carly Tennes
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5
5 Real Horror Stories Ordinary People Got Trapped In
Warning: The stuff you're about to read is really scary.
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- By Ryan Menezes
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38
The Term "Bone" Was Banned At Recent Paleontology Conference
And attendees had a b*** to pick.
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- By Carly Tennes
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62
So, The LAX Jetpack Guy Is Back
He's back, and jet-packier than ever?
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- By Carly Tennes
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20
Giant Bomb Trends On Twitter, Scaring Unsuspecting Users, Amusing Fans
This is 2020, after all.
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- By Carly Tennes
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13
A TikToker Put an Egg In A Keurig Machine, Bringing 2020 To A New Low
Why? Just why?
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- By Carly Tennes
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14
Someone Left A Shrine To Mercury, The Roman God of Travelers, On A Subway Platform Because American Transit Needs All The Help It Can Get
Legend has it that if you leave your subway card and first born child at the shrine, your train *just might* arrive on time for once...
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- By Carly Tennes
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12
Bride Turns Her Mother's Wedding Gown Into Wedding Night Lingerie
Here comes the bride, all dressed in, lingerie made from her mother's wedding gown?
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- By Carly Tennes
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11
Send Noods ... Or Don't? Kraft Accused of Creeping With Mac and Cheese
At first Kraft's new marketing campaign went well ... orzo they thought.
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- By Carly Tennes
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