Cracked Archive - News

Unexpected (Positive) Aspects Of Tragic Events
Unexpected (Positive) Aspects Of Tragic Events

Like nature's consolation prize.

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5 Of The Most Insane Hostage Rescues In History
5 Of The Most Insane Hostage Rescues In History

Real hostage situations get way crazier than you think.

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Reasons Presidential Debates Are Irrelevant
Reasons Presidential Debates Are Irrelevant

The way these debates are held today renders them almost completely pointless.

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People, We Need To Wash Our Hands To Stop Spreading Coronavirus (Not All The Other Stupid Crap You're Doing)
People, We Need To Wash Our Hands To Stop Spreading Coronavirus (Not All The Other Stupid Crap You're Doing)

It’s trendy to have coronavirus right now, but if someone offers it to you, just say no.

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'Extreme' Political Viewpoints (That Really Aren't)
'Extreme' Political Viewpoints (That Really Aren't)

Progressive policies actually work quite well in the rest of the world.

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5 Hilarious Ways Drones Are Doing Good (Seriously)
5 Hilarious Ways Drones Are Doing Good (Seriously)

See? Sometimes drones can be good.

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Costco Food Courts Go Behind A Paywall March 16th: So Long Cheap Hotdogs, Non-Members
Costco Food Courts Go Behind A Paywall March 16th: So Long Cheap Hotdogs, Non-Members

There's a lot of great memories attached to the Costco food court, and that's all about to go behind a paywall.

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IKEA Is Producing Weird Audio Porn Now
IKEA Is Producing Weird Audio Porn Now

Slam your genitals in as many consenting drawers as you want, but don't pretend it's making them cleaner.

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The 5 Most Garbage Democrats In Congress
The 5 Most Garbage Democrats In Congress

Just look at these asses.

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If Your Significant Other Needs A McDonald's Scented Candle, Now's The Time
If Your Significant Other Needs A McDonald's Scented Candle, Now's The Time

To those about to beef: We salute you.

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An Announcement From Jason 'David Wong' Pargin (He Does Not Die At The End)
An Announcement From Jason 'David Wong' Pargin (He Does Not Die At The End)

It's important Cracked announcement time, folks.

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Burger King Is Embracing Mold Now
Burger King Is Embracing Mold Now

There's more mold in this new Burger King commercial than your ex-boyfriend's shower.

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