Cracked Archive - News
The Mods of New Jersey's Official Twitter Account Deserves A Raise
Yes, the northeastern state of New Jersey, lovingly dubbed 'The Armpit of America' has a crackerjack Twitter.
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- By Carly Tennes
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11 5 Recent News Stories Which Wound Up Having Bizarre Twists
Stories keep evolving, revealing layer after layer of weirdness.
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- By Ryan Menezes
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- 49
Flights To Nowhere Are Now A Thing Because 2020
All the stress of air travel, without any of the vacation destinations!
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- By Carly Tennes
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- 11
The Actual Reason Costco's Hot Dog And Soda Combo Is $1.50
Several billion years from now, a hot dog and a soda will cost $1.50 at Costco.
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- By Carly Tennes
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- 25
Ruth Bader Ginsburg Played Fantasy Baseball (And Talked Trash)
Even RBG had her savage moments, especially when it came to fantasy sports.
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- By Carly Tennes
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- 16
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A Bunny Expert Classifying Rabbits Is Oddly Hypnotic, Wholesome
Sometimes you just gotta watch a calm man talk about the roundness of little bunnies.
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- By Carly Tennes
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'Hype Houses' Are Just Zoomer Communes
I'll take 'Late-Stage Capitalism' for 500, Alex.
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- By Carly Tennes
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- 13
Broke Rat-Man Chuck E. Cheese Seeks To Destroy 7 Billion Prize Tickets
That's almost enough for one large stuffed animal!
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- By Carly Tennes
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- 16
Taco Bell Now Sells 'Jalapeño Noir' Wine Because Reality Is Melting
There's so much to taco 'bout here, folks.
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- By Carly Tennes
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- 16
In 2020, Everybody Working From Home Is 'BBC Dad'
There are two kinds of people in the world --- those who have had a Robert Kelly moment since working remotely, and liars.
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- By Carly Tennes
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The Internet's Current Obsession: Dumb Reasons For Getting Dumped
Jerry Seinfeld walked, so we could run ... out of these questionable relationships.
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- By Carly Tennes
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4 Stages Every Ad Went Through In 2020
The playbook on how to make commercials has gone completely insane.
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- By Mark Hill
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Most Badass Monkey Fighters In Japan Are Three Elderly Women
The 'Monkey Busters,' as the women call themselves, are ready.
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- By Amanda Mannen
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- 27
Somehow We Still Don't Know Who 'The LAX Jetpack Person' Is
Blink twice if it’s aliens, the FBI.
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- By Amanda Mannen
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- 13
White College Professor Caught Pretending To Be Black. (Again.)
We've got Rachel Dolezal 2.0. Please don't give us a 3.0.
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- By Dan Duddy
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