The Worst Possible Take On Ukraine Says Zelenskyy Should Wear A Suit

Since the Russian invasion of Ukraine, Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy has been fairly roundly applauded for his actions and handling of a horrific situation. Especially for a politician who made headlines upon his election for his past as a comedian, he’s shown an unexpected amount of aplomb when thrust into perhaps the most dangerous and sensitive situation any leader can find themselves in. He even managed to cement himself in QuoteDB with what could well be an iconic line in “I don’t need a ride, I need ammunition.”

Well, unfortunately, I’m here to tell you that after building such good will, Zelenskyy has officially made the gravest of mistakes during wartime: a fashion gaffe of the highest magnitude. Zelenskyy addressed Congress today, and did so in a t-shirt. So far, of the words thrown around to describe his actions, “disrespectful” is one that probably doesn’t come to mind. However, radio host, financial commentator, and loser of the 2010 Connecticut Senate race, Peter Schiff, wasn’t afraid to mince words.

Time to fire off a tweet that will certainly be appreciated and necessary.

Schiff fired off the tweet above from probably a bolted leather chair, which is basically the official chair of knowing you will never see the frontlines of war. Zelenskyy, on the other hand, has made it clear that he’s not one to insulate himself from the Ukrainian people fighting day-to-day, and beyond a handshake, smile, and professional photographer snapping pics sort of way. I, for one, believe “how much of their arms you can see” is not one of the decisive factors in considering someone’s leadership capabilities.

Schiff’s tweet is almost poetic in how quickly and effectively it hits the Boomer Trifecta. The three things central to the boomer identity: Loving suits, hating disrespect, and not knowing when to shut the #&$* up. Reading the tweet, it feels like the first draft definitely had the word “whippersnapper” in it. Suits look cool, but they also contain the duality of being highly specific in use, and being wildly expensive. In fact, if they weren’t tied into the image of “respect for institutions,” they seem like the exact kind of mostly useless, disproportionate cost-benefit purchase that financial experts would love to decry. At least avocado toast is good for you.

I understand that there is a time and place for suits. Like to court proceedings resulting from the international investigation of your offshore bank. But if your country is currently being bombed, perhaps it’s not a time to get your briefs in a twist because someone didn’t bring their waistcoat to the military base. The t-shirt itself is simple and military olive drab. Look, if he showed up to address Congress in a “Fart Loading” t-shirt, I could understand and see the disrespect. As it is, it’s just more evidence of a dying generation’s obsession with decorum over substance. When he went into his closet, where he stores all his t-shirts (?) like you do, maybe next time he’ll think a little bit less about the people dying violently in his country and a little bit more about the dress code.