The Only Thing Worse Than Traffic Is Traffic With Bees
As someone lucky enough to have mostly lived in cities with excellent subway systems for the majority of my life, I’ve managed to avoid the mental anguish of traffic more than most. However, it only takes a moment, whether in an Uber or on a road trip, to remember just how infuriating traffic can be. Something about taking a couple cars and lining them up activates every negative thought center in the human brain. If you took an MRI of the brain of someone stuck in traffic, I think it would light up in the shape of a frowny face. When an activity has its own signature brand of rage? That’s something that breaks the human psyche.
There is, though, one small bright side to pretty much any traffic jam any of us have ever been stuck in. That silver lining is that, even in horrible traffic, at least we were never being swarmed by bees. Which is more than some drivers in Jacksonville, Florida can say this week. After an accident resulted in standstill traffic, the many, many bees that were being transported in a truck stuck in this traffic decided to stretch their nasty weird little legs.
The bees left their home truck and quickly began checking out other cars on the highway. By “checking out,” I mean swarming cars, covering them completely so they looked like the Candyman was driving. Reports say that no one was injured, hopefully because they rolled their window up fast enough once a cloud of bees blotted out the sun. Fascinating animals though they may be, their company is usually not particularly demanded in any situation.
Now, honestly, the most upsetting part of this story might be how the bees got out. Namely, that the bees did not escape at all, because apparently bees are transported just completely free in open air. They just pop their hives on an open air truck bed and assume they’re not gonna go anywhere. This is something I deeply wish I could unlearn. Sure, I don’t think bee transport is the most common thing in the world, but still. This feels like a brand new intrusive thought of the caliber of “if someone else in my apartment building leaves the stove on I could just explode.” So thanks for that, bees!