There is a specific kind of delicious dark joy in someone you dislike acting in exactly the way you would expect. Not quite schadenfreude, but I’m sure there’s some other hyperspecific german word for someone confirming your poor opinion of them that just feels absolutely perfect. It reaffirms your worldview in the pettiest way possible.

With that in mind, you can understand the perverse glee I felt upon hearing that Senator Ted Cruz had an absolute classic, diaper-filling tantrum at a Montana airport today. After missing the check-in window for his flight, Cruz was informed that, well, he had missed the check-in window for his flight. Which he took less than gracefully. How do you even miss a check-in window anymore? You have to tap like one thing on your phone and it notifies you like 8 times in the 24 hours before you fly. Regardless, Cruz managed it, and then, when forced to reap what he’d sown, decided instead to just cause a ruckus.

Pixabay

Ted Cruz at Bozeman Airport, 2022

Now, I understand that flying is highly stressful, and, to be honest, airlines are pulling a lot of what could be generously called “bullpucky” these days. Cruz also did have important business to get back to Washington DC for, namely the confirmation hearings for Ketanji Brown Jackson, though I’m sure everyone would be relieved should he not actually show up to recite whatever propaganda in the guise of questioning he had planned. However, more importantly than how genuinely annoying this chain of events was is the fact that Ted Cruz is an absolute worm. He’s a high-pitched spineless stain of a man, and I will feel joy any time he feels pain.

Not to mention that according to a bystander, he did say the magic words: “Don’t you know who I am?” Pure morphine in my veins. Just Ted Cruz, stamping his nasty little feet, making a stink so big that the police had to be brought in to calm him down. I would be happy to miss MY flight just so I could fully watch this saga unfold. The only unfortunate thing is that it didn’t escalate to the point where we get photos of Ted Cruz in handcuffs in glass wall airport jail.

Top Image: U.S. Senate Photographic Studio/Pixabay

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