Cracked Archive - Music

Cracked Archive - Cracked.com rips on the music industry, music lyrics, the worst songs ever written, news, albums, concerts and

The Hard Hitting Questions Asked by Club DJs [CHART]

In the 80s, we had Def Leppard asking us if we looked in the mirror when we made love. In the 90s we had C&C Music Factory telling us they were going to make us sweat. And somehow, we've gotten worse from there ...

Authors: By John Ray
Published: January 29, 2011
Comments: 278

6 Pieces of Music That Mean The Opposite of What You Think

If you're like most Cracked readers, you own an extensive collection of classical music that you listen to during one of your daily top hat parties or afternoon pipe appraisal sessions. This article isn't for you.

Authors: By Geoffrey Cubbage
Published: January 25, 2011
Comments: 920

The 5 Most Badass Musical Instruments Ever Built

Whether it's rock and roll with its blistering solos, classical with its ominous overtones, or jazz with its black people, music is already pretty damn cool. The only way it could get cooler? These:

Authors: By Cracked Writers
Published: January 13, 2011
Comments: 317

The 8 Things You Can Do With a Cover Song [COMIC]

From All Along the Watchtower to Madonna pretending to play the guitar.

Authors: By Winston Rowntree
Published: November 26, 2010
Comments: 789

How to Deal With Things You Hate for No Reason [COMIC]

Be reasonable ... unless it's John Cougar Mellencamp, who is undoubtedly that spawn of satan.

Authors: By Scott Meyer
Published: November 07, 2010
Comments: 178

How to Come Up With an Awesome Band Name [COMIC]

Don't get distracted by learning to play music.

Authors: By Scott Meyer
Published: October 17, 2010
Comments: 158

Why Eminem Needs to Find Something New to Rap About

Don't you realize you can just make some shit up? If you wanted to write a song about pistol whipping the Insane Clown Posse roadie who was making out with your wife, just write that shit. You don't actually have to go out and beat up a clown to do it.

Authors: By Adam Tod Brown
Published: September 07, 2010
Comments: 685

19 Unintentionally Terrifying Children's Album Covers

It's true that the world looks more innocent through a child's eyes. But album covers, even those made for kids, are designed by grown-up, world-hardened and bitter adults. So sometimes you just have to ask, what the hell were they thinking?

Authors: By CRACKED Staff, David Johnson
Published: August 31, 2010
Comments: 512

The 6 Most Atrocious Uses of Facial Hair in Music History

Adam Brown and Kristi Harrison feel it is their responsibility to deconstruct what has to be some of the most atrocious facial hair in the music industry.

Authors: By Adam Tod Brown, Kristi Harrison
Published: August 07, 2010
Comments: 362

I'm Starting to Doubt Lil Wayne's Research Skills...

You said Tom Petty, but you probably meant Richard Petty or Kyle Petty who both happen to be famous NASCAR drivers.

Authors: By Adam Tod Brown
Published: July 22, 2010
Comments: 470

5 Days Undercover as a Justin Bieber Fan

Authors: By Adam Tod Brown
Published: July 17, 2010
Comments: 762

Battle of the Sexes: Judging The 8 Most Iconic Bras Ever Worn

You know how people always bitch about science taking time out of its day to solve inconsequential problems while a cure for cancer is still nowhere in sight? Well this is a lot like that. Instead of using this prime comedy real estate to shed light on one of the many issues currently plaguing our great nation, we're talking about titties.