It turns out that, no, famous people did not just appear beautifully from the void.
Spoiler alert: Actors are not the same people as the roles they play.
That's it, let it all out - just don't do it on Twitter.
Some random nobody managed to get $55,000 for potato salad, and the following celebrities still failed miserably to reach their goals.
Today's cautionary tales of excess aren't inventions of modern Hollywood. This kind of thing has actually been going on forever.
These people were plucked out of obscurity, turned into memes, and became mega internet famous. So what happened next?
The thick veil of money and fame that separates celebrities from the normal world often causes them to believe that they're experts at pretty much everything.
Sometimes an artistic genius has a weak spot right in their chosen field, and we somehow all agree to overlook it.
Some famous people have the misfortune of becoming the target of a shadowy cabal that's willing to suspend their world-dominance campaign to simply harass them.
Jason Statham nearly died while Sylvester Stallone calmly filmed it on his cellphone.
A petty political squabble with one of America's Founding Fathers turned into a centuries-long monster myth.
You might want to light some candles, because it's about to get pretty dark.
True to his personality, George Carlin never wanted to be seen as a walking billboard.