Poor Paris Hilton Suffered the Most Genuinely Shocking Moment on 'South Park'

Even though socialite and reality TV star Paris Hilton’s parody portrayal on South Park was one of the most brutally insulting depictions in the show’s history, Hilton should count herself lucky — she just barely escaped death by assphyxiation.

In retrospect, the South Park Season Eight episode “Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset” feels a little too mean-spirited, even for the series that once decided Sarah Jessica Parker’s face was ugly enough to make people vomit in “The Tale of Scrotie McBoogerballs.” When “Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset” premiered in 2004, Hilton was just a year removed from the career-boosting leak of her sex tape and two seasons deep in her smash-hit reality series The Simple Life, both of which made her one of the most talked-about public figures in pop culture. A South Park satire of the hotel heiress’ rise to stardom was inevitable, but the end result was absolutely staggering.

Over in the South Park subreddit, fans recently offered their answers to the question, “What moment in South Park actually shocked you?” with the top response being the climactic moment in Hilton’s “whore off” with Mr. Slave when the latter slams himself ass-first onto Hilton’s head, jamming her entire body up his cavernous cavity. 

Last year, Hilton opened up about her reaction to “Stupid Spoiled Whore Playset,” which showed her vomiting semen, flashing her boobs and peddling a line of child-focused products at the South Park Mall before kidnapping Butters to replace the latest one of her purse-puppies to commit suicide just to escape her clutches. “I’m the title character,” Hilton wrote of the South Park episode in her memoir, “but they also apply that epithet to Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Tara Reid and all the little girls who were fans, which upset me more than anything ugly they could say about me.” 

Hilton took the most offense to the scene that showed the self-inflicted shooting death of her signature chihuahua, the late Tinkerbell, writing, “I’ve been involved in some pretty edgy media, but I don’t even know where something like that comes from.” 

Nowhere in the memoir did Hilton mention the “whore off” or her absorption into the anus of Mr. Slave, who concluded the shocking scene with a monologue shaming the parents of South Park who allow their daughters to celebrate “whores” like himself and Hilton, saying, “If you don’t teach your children that people like Paris Hilton are supposed to be despised, where are they going to learn it?”

Twenty years post “Stupid Spoiled Whore Playset,” it’s hard to imagine Trey Parker and Matt Stone hitting an ultimately innocuous celebrity as hard as they did Hilton, given the grace they’ve allowed actual abusive monsters like Andrew Tate in recent seasons. Despite her annoying omnipresence during the mid-aughts, Hilton never really did anything that was truly “despicable” nor was Mr. Slave's speech about teaching kids to hate Hilton after anally abducting her particularly warranted.

However, it’s still a damn shame that Hilton escaped Mr. Slave’s bowels in time to host an episode Saturday Night Live the following year. Even a dog suicide was funnier than that crap.