13 Dark Humor Jokes About Doctors

Going to the doctor usually isn’t reserved for a positive reason. Even if it’s for a mere annual checkup, going to the physician just reminds you of how fragile your body is and how it will only get more fragile with age. Nobody knows this better than comedians (Matt Rife and Matt Rife’s abs excluded).

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Still, they say laughter is the best medicine, so it’s more than fine to giggle at some of the darkest jokes about doctors, the world of medicine and our fear/confusion at both...

13 Tom Segura on His Jerk Doctor

Segura breaks down how much he hates when his doctor remarks about his hair loss, says “wow” after learning his weight and accuses him of being a cocaine addict.

12 Ralph Barbosa’s Physician Review

“This man was my doctor for the last 12 years, and I am still diabetic. One star.”

11 Norm Macdonald’s Doctor’s Advice

Macdonald tells a story about his doctor’s unconventional solution to waking up his wife from a coma. Keep in mind, this is Norm Macdonald telling the story.

10 Ken Jeong on Being a Doctor

“I used to be a doctor at Kaiser Permanente, where they deliver ‘health care’ in quotes.”

9 ‘Do These Look Like Press-Ons to You?’

For obvious reasons, Kit Harington seems concerned about his rectal exam by a doctor with long fingernails.

8 Dr. Hartman’s Shtick on ‘Family Guy’

7 John Mulaney Tries to Get a Xanax Prescription

Mulaney tried to get a prescription for Xanax by visiting the doctor for an unrelated issue and casually mentioning it, per his friend’s advice. However, after Mulaney listed his reason for his visit as “frequent urination,” things took a dark turn.

6 Doctor Web, M.D.

College Humor took aim at what it would be like if WebMD were an actual physician and how we as a nation rely too much on it in spite of its inaccuracies and scare tactics. Man, American health care blows.

5 ‘Kids in the Hall’ Tackle Surgical Scars

Sometimes you’ll have a surgical procedure that will leave a scar. It just happens. The type of scar, however…

4 ‘Key & Peele’s Terrible Excuse to Get Medical Marijuana

Back when recreational marijuana wasn’t legalized in most states, you would have to get a prescription for weed. While it could be prescribed for nearly any ailment, there was one disease that pot wouldn’t impact.

3 ‘Saturday Night Live’s The Physical

We’ve all felt the uncertainty and confusion whenever a doctor doesn’t tell you what they are/aren’t noticing or seeing. Or they just enjoy feeling testicles.

2 Dr. Crawford’s Bedside Manner in ‘Silicon Valley’

Richard’s physician doesn’t follow patient privacy protocols very well, but he loves to commit to a pitch.

1 Ronny Chieng on His Parents Wanting Him to Be a Doctor

“When Asian parents want their kids to be doctors, ‘helping people’ is on the bottom of the list of reasons, if it even makes the list of reasons to go into medicine. ‘Helping people’ is the unfortunate byproduct of becoming a health-care professional.”