Notable Comment: A lot of people called bullshit on this article, and refused to believe us and asked for sources. Folks, if you see some of the text in red, then it's a link. A link is something you click that'll take you to a brand new website. On that website, you'll find words. Read them! These words will confirm what we say. If you read our sources and you still aren't sure, don't leave a comment. Because you're retarded.
The 6 Most Utterly Insane Attempts to Kill a US President
We're not saying there's a good way to kill a president, just that these ways are terrible.
Notable Comment: brow says "My ninth grade math teacher used black magic to get me suspended for throwing chalk at the back of her head. I have readied my Exploding Minivan." Hear all that, officers? Good. Just doing our part to keep the streets safer.
THE FATS OF LIFE!
6 of Your Favorite Things That Are Secretly Making You Fat
Also bacon. Can you believe it? We were shocked, too. Still totally gonna eat it, though.
Notable Comment:Sifl says "Hey Cracked! I got a question! I just ate a handful of honeybees. Will they make me fat?" We have no idea, but please videotape it and send it along to us.
9 Foreign Rip-Offs Cooler Than the Hollywood Originals
And we're just gonna say what everyone's thinking: Batman looks f*****g awesome with a moustache.