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35 Fictional Relationships That Make No Sense

By:: Cracked Writers; Timon DJ Spajic

December 01, 2021

35 Fictional Relationships That Make No Sense

If Hollywood loves anything, it's portraying completely toxic and weird relationships as romantic and “sexy.” Today we'll take a look at 35 fictional relationship movies want us to think are normal:

35

Everything Severus Snape did was motivated by his LOVE FOR LILY. Right down to his patronus, a doe. But Lily and Snape were never anything more than friends, and Lily was happily married to another man. The entire relationship was in Snape's mind. CRACKED.COM Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows 2010, 2011. — 22 Famous Movie Romances You Never Realized Are Creepy

34

In Captain America: Civil War, Steve Rogers finally kisses his neighbor, Sharon. SHE'S HIS DEAD GIRLFRIEND'S GRANDNIECE. His previous girlfriend from the '40s, Peggy, had died mere days before this kiss. And Steve actually only makes a move after learning that Sharon was Peggy's grandniece-and that she was spying on him for SHIELD. CRACKED.COM Captain America: Civil War, 2016 — 26 Icky Romances In Huge Movies

33

The Breakfast Andrew and Allison Club might be the worst romance to ever grace the screen. They have nothing in common, have wildly incompatible personalities, and he only even considers her worthy of affection after she changes her appearance. There is no reason to think they will date after the credits roll. Their whole relationship is the teenage equivalent of quickly finding someone to take home from the bar after a night of drinking. CRACKED.COM — 28 Doomed Movie And TV Relationships

32

THOR & Jane CRACKED.COM His life span is thousands of years. x Hers is 100 or so. He's a prima donna space god. x She's down-to-earth. She's an academic genius. x Не smash stuff with hammer. His dad called her a goat. x She gets his mother killed. They both have great hair. — 20 Onscreen Relationships That Should Never Have Existed

31

... TELL US NOW. The Joker & Harley Quinn GRACKED Ken W. hates what they've done to couple goals: Because now every single toxic human thinks they can find another toxic human and be CuTe. No. Get therapy. Watch the Addams Family. — Tell Us Now: The 20 All-Time Worst Movie Couples

30

According to the original script for Groundbog Day, Phil spends 10,000 YEARS CAUGHT in A Time LOOP. Which means Rita ends up with a man older than human civilization who spent most of his life trying to get her to sleep with him. CRACKED.COM Groundhog Day 1993 — 22 Famous Movie Romances You Never Realized Are Creepy

29

In The Breakfast Club, Claire and Bender fall in love after sharing a few hours in detention. DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IS IN THEIR FUTURE. Bender suffers from post-traumatic embitterment due to childhood abuse. He's likely to shut down around affection and intimacy, and lash out when he's incapable of expressing those feelings. CRACKED.COM The Breakfast Club, 1985 — 26 Icky Romances In Huge Movies

28

There is barely a shred of similarity between Ted and Robin from How I Met Your Mother. But yet they end up together in the end. Ted is convinced that Robin is his soulmate despite their mismatched goals in life and relationship, and he even resorts to forcing her to become someone she's not. Why is he even in love with her in the first place? CRACKED COM — 28 Doomed Movie And TV Relationships

27

In 2007's, SUPERBAD, Jules is popular, social and stylish. Seth, on the other hand, is cantankerous, uncool and hard to be around. SUPERUNLIKELY LIKE REALLY NEVER. EVER WOULD HAPPEN IN REAL LIFE EVEN ONCE And, of course, in this film of nerd wish fulfillment, she is busy working hard to convince him that she is interested in him. CRACKED COM — 20 Onscreen Relationships That Should Never Have Existed

26

... TELL US NOW. Jack & Rose GRACKED Lisa R. doesn't ship Leo and Kate in Titanic: The movie as a whole was good but Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet just didn't make a believable pair. She looked 20 years older than him. — Tell Us Now: The 20 All-Time Worst Movie Couples

25

eowyn AND FARAMIR found each other and fell in love, despite all the conflict and strife of the Lord of the Rings trilogy. Just ignore the fact that for the majority of her screen time, Eowyn was in love with Aragorn. CRACKED.COM Return of the King. 2003. — 22 Famous Movie Romances You Never Realized Are Creepy

24

In Skyfall, Sévérine is a former sex slave who never feels safe. SO BOND SNEAKS UP ON HER IN THE SHOWER. Later, Bond stands idly by as Sévérine gets shot in the face. Не then escapes with Bond techniques that would have been totally usable when she was still alive. Because he's Bond. James Bond. CRACKED.COM Skyfall, 2012 — 26 Icky Romances In Huge Movies

23

In Lucifer, Maze and Trixie become besties. The age difference should be obstacle enough in their friendship, but when you add in who they are-Hell's torturer and innocent kid-things go from weird to downright crazy. CRACKED.COM — 28 Doomed Movie And TV Relationships

22

35 Fictional Relationships That Make No Sense — 20 Onscreen Relationships That Should Never Have Existed

21

... TELL US NOW. Isaac & Tracy GRACKED Norman L. doesn't love how Woody Allen's art imitates his life in Manhattan: he's got a history of slobbering his liver spotted jowls and arthriticky gnarled fingers over women far too young and gorgeous for him. — Tell Us Now: The 20 All-Time Worst Movie Couples

20

In the movie Big, Josh and Susan have a SWEET Romance. Even though Susan is in her 30s, and Josh is a 12-year-old kid who has magically turned into a grownup. It's actually Josh's childlike nature that Susan is attracted to. CRACKED.COM Big. 1988 — 22 Famous Movie Romances You Never Realized Are Creepy

19

As a human, Uhura acts based on emotion, while Spock is your typical emotionally unavailable Vulcan. IT'S GOING TO BE A DISENGAGED RELATIONSHIP. If they ever have a child, it can look forward to a distant father and a frustrated mother. The only silver lining is that the kid will never be bullied on Vulcan, since the planet no longer exists. CRACKED.COM Star Trek, 2009 — 26 Icky Romances In Huge Movies

18

Why are Bart and Milhouse friends? Bart is a brash troublemaker and Milhouse is an anxiety-prone wimp. GRACKED.COM — 28 Doomed Movie And TV Relationships

17

EPISODE II ATTACK OF THE CLONES Senator Amidala is shown to have a productive professional relationship with Jar Jar Binks, a creature so dumb he was exiled for his incompetence. Realistically, a serious, lifelong politican like Amidala would not tolerate this fool to represent the Gungans, let alone act on her behalf in the Galactic Senate. CRACKED.COM — 20 Onscreen Relationships That Should Never Have Existed

16

... TELL US NOW. Howard & Beverly CRACKED Lee F. makes a darn good point: Without a doubt Lea Thompson and Howard the Duck. — Tell Us Now: The 20 All-Time Worst Movie Couples

15

In Can't Hardly Wait, Preston gives Amanda a LOVE LETTER that he's been carrying around with him for four years. They have never spoken. Amanda literally has no idea who Preston is. CRACKED.COM Can't Hardly Wait. 1998 — 22 Famous Movie Romances You Never Realized Are Creepy

14

In The Legend of Korra, Varrick and his assistant Zhu Li end up marrying. HE'S A SPOILED EGOMANIAC AND A BAD BOSS. Varrick cares about nothing but his inventions. Не makes Zhu Li perform demeaning tasks and follow his every whim. He's helpless without her. And yet she's in love with him, for some reason. CRACKED.COM The Legend of Korra (2012-2014) — 26 Icky Romances In Huge Movies

13

TRANSFORMERS SAM AND BUMBLEBEE So an alien creature whose biology and culture is intrinsically different from ours decides to waste precious time away from his mission to help a dude woo a girl? How does he even know what he is doing? CRACKED.COM — 28 Doomed Movie And TV Relationships

12

HOMELAND CARRIE + BRODY Even though nobody believed her, she was convinced he was a traitor plotting a terrorist attack. She didn't think twice about risking her career to stop him. Eventually, she was proven right. And then she fell madly in love with him. All the romantic cinematography in the world can't make that make sense. CRACKED.COM — 20 Onscreen Relationships That Should Never Have Existed

11

... TELL US NOW. Kenny & Denise GRACKED Tim S. doesn't think these two have the right stuff in Can't Hardly Wait: I mean I guess it was funny....but still.... — Tell Us Now: The 20 All-Time Worst Movie Couples

10

Fifty Sbades of Grey is such a HOT AND STEAMY LOVE STORY- with a kinky twist to keep things spicy. Except for the part where Christian Grey is a cold-hearted predator who abuses the uninitiated Anastasia with hardcore torture techniques that would make a bondage enthusiast blush. CRACKED.COM Fifty Shades of Grey 2015. — 22 Famous Movie Romances You Never Realized Are Creepy

9

In Failure to Launch, Paula gets a chance to confess her love for Tripp. BY HAVING HIM KIDNAPPED. Tripp's friends and family happily go along with the plan to tie him up and gag him so Paula can pour out her heart to him. Because kidnapping is fine and adorable, as long as you do it out of genuine love. CRACKED.COM Failure to Launch, 2006 — 26 Icky Romances In Huge Movies

8

CRACKED.COM No couple in Doctor Who made less sense than Martha and Mickey. Mickey was a lazy slacker, Martha was a medical student. Aside from their travels with The Doctor, and being РОС, they have nothing in common. Forcing them together at the end of Season Four was just plain silly. — 28 Doomed Movie And TV Relationships

7

Voyager's final episode established a romance between Seven of Nine and Chakotay. A romance that had almost no build up at all and was simply there as a plot device to give Janeway yet another excuse to alter time. What's worse, that last-minute made-up romance threw out of the airlock a believable relationship that had been 0 evolving for a couple of seasons between Seven and the Doctor. CRACKED.COM — 20 Onscreen Relationships That Should Never Have Existed

6

... TELL US NOW. Humbert & Dolores GRACKED Catherine D. says scumbag Humbert's ...youthful predilection in Lolita Speaks for itself. — Tell Us Now: The 20 All-Time Worst Movie Couples

5

At the end of Ghost, Sam and Molly finally get one LAST mAKe- OUT session. Because Sam has possessed the body of Oda Mae, the female medium Molly just met. CRACKED.COM Ghost 1990 — 22 Famous Movie Romances You Never Realized Are Creepy

4

In Clueless, Cher realizes she's in love with her ex-stepbrother, Josh. Even though they're not related by blood, it would still be weird. They were living under the same roof as family for a while. If anybody asks them how they met, the answer will definitely raise eyebrows, no matter how they explain it. Also, their parents could go from being exes to in-laws. CRACKED COM — 28 Doomed Movie And TV Relationships

3

The HÄNGOVER Phil is cool and fun. Stu is a wimpy whiner. Phil is a troublemaker. Stu falls apart at the first sign of trouble. Why the hell are they friends? GRACKED.COM — 20 Onscreen Relationships That Should Never Have Existed

2

... TELL US NOW. Andie & Blane CRACKED Ashley Е. can't get over the amateur smooching in Pretty in Pink: I like that movie but their chemistry is SOOOO bad and their kissing scenes are so cringe because it looks like they have no idea how to kiss. — Tell Us Now: The 20 All-Time Worst Movie Couples

1

Bridget Jones' boyfriend punches her ex-lover and attempts to drown him in a fountain. WHICH MAKES HIM A CRIMINAL. Beating the heck out of someone is totally a crime, even when you do it for the love of a woman. It's also a red flag that the person has violent tendencies, which may make themselves known in even less pleasant ways. CRACKED.COM Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason, 2004 — 26 Icky Romances In Huge Movies

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