34 Childish Jagweeds Who Were Given Way Too Much Money

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34 Childish Jagweeds Who Were Given Way Too Much Money

We’re not sure if this is a Tom Hanks in Big situation here, but all signs do point to children in adult bodies (and with adult money). Heck, it’s a lot more money than most adults have, so yeah — we understand the temptation to fritter it away on slothful hedonism, while screaming at anyone who dares to oppose you. Just maybe for the sake of human decency, lock it up! 

Take note, people on this list!

Rich people requests BLENDED WAGYU BEEF Michael Harwood, private chef to celebrities and aristocrats, said that a millionaire client in Monaco ordered his wagyu beef to be blended so he wouldn't have to face the taxing task of chewing his food. CRACKED

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CRACKED $150 MILLION SPENT ON RICH-GUY KNICKKNACKS Nicolas Cage has splurged on a private island, a dinosaur skull, 15 homes, two castles, a huge burial tomb, shrunken рудту heads, a Lamborghini, a pet octopus, and the first Superman comic - all adding up to a whopping $150 million.

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CRACKED YANA The best thing you can do with environmentalists is shoot them. MICHAEL O'LEARY, Ryanair CEO

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Madonna got falling-down drunk on stage. During a concert in Australia, Madge appeared to get good and liquored up onstage while dressed up as some sort of erotic Victorian rodeo clown. In between swigs of hootch, she moaned things like: Someone please take care of me, please, Who is going to take care of me? and Please, someone f--k me. She then attempted to ride, then fell off, a tiny children's tricycle. CRACKED.COM

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John Mackey made a fake identity to talk himself up. The Whole Foods CEO made a message poster named Rahodeb, who posted hundreds of times praising his company and slamming his competition. Не also took to flattering himself in the third person, praising his cute haircut and declaring, Mackey CRACKEDARKS like a model for Brooks Brothers.

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Green Day's Billie Joe Armstrong had a total meltdown on stage at a festival. When the band's time was about to end, he cried, I've been around since 19-f--ing-88! And you're gonna give me one minute? I'm not f---ing Justin Bieber, you mother---er! CRACKED.COM

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Rapper Tyler, the Creator trashed a Los Angeles club in December 2011. Apparently, he destroyed some sound equipment at L.A.'s Roxbury Theater and got his fans to start rioting - he ended up having to pay $8,000 in damages. CRACKED.COM

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Cribs of the rich and famous Penn Jillette's House When Jillette bought the house, it was normal-but now, in addition to things like pools and movie theaters, it has a neon clock tower. CRACKED.COM

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Cribs of the rich and famous Michael Jackson's Neverland A ZOO. A train. An amusement park. Only for $200 million. CRACKED.COM

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