You're sick and tired of grabbing a Kentucky Bourbon and getting into a fistfight with a bicycle courier, when you should be sipping a nice Single Malt and watching mail-order Russian brides wrestle for the imitation diamonds that you threw on the floor.
Realizing you're a character in a work of fiction can be startling. At the moment, you probably feel like you're trapped in an elevator that's in freefall, and your mind has somehow hit the ground before the rest of your body.
Screw you world. Screw you for making me pathetic enough to be here at eleven at night, but not pathetic enough to be here at ten. It's just the exact wrong amount of patheticness to have. A bit less and I start owning shoes with laces, and making friends again; a bit more and I start qualifying for government aid.
In Japan, baked potato flavored Kit-Kat is just one piece of evidence of their devotion to this piece of candy.
As we've demonstrated many times before, sometimes the truth is stranger than Photoshop. For those of you still unconvinced, we present the latest installment in our ongoing quest to show you every picture that has ever looked ridiculously fake, but isn't.
Even when they're really embarassing.
If you played role-playing games as a child, then you know they never worked as advertised. You'd sit down for an epic adventure with your friends only to find out that one of them can't pay attention, one is too stupid to be allowed near math, and one is ashamed of everything you're doing. I decided that nerds get lied to enough. An honest RPG.
Looking back, it was probably a bad idea to use your credit card as a Facebook profile pic.
Sometimes reality grabs fiction by the throat and drags it screaming down the highway before hitting a conveniently placed ramp, ramming through a gas tanker, and careening -- airborne and aflame -- into the white house.
The early bird catches the worm, and screws up his files.