Cracked Archive - Weird World

Frosty the Snowman Declares War on The War on Christmas
Frosty the Snowman Declares War on The War on Christmas

Buck Rogers and Flash Gordon have shown us that whenever there's a ridiculous war in the future, a brave hero from Earth's present travels there to win it. I thought that I could apply this scientific process to help win a ridiculous war raging today: The War on Christmas.

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5 Creepy Christmas Traditions from Around the World
5 Creepy Christmas Traditions from Around the World

Everyone has different Christmas traditions: Some of us decorate trees, some of us drink egg-nog, some of us eat fruitcake, and some of us cover ourselves in feces, threaten to murder our children, and foster racism in their hearts.

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5 Silver Linings Now That Your Flight Has Been Delayed
5 Silver Linings Now That Your Flight Has Been Delayed

With the skies growing more crowded every year, and the airlines losing their sense of shame every day, flight delays have gone from being a rare event to a reliable nuisance for anyone who chooses to travel by air.

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11 Steps To Crashing a Royal Wedding
11 Steps To Crashing a Royal Wedding

More advanced royal watchers are instead busy exchanging plans for how to score an invitation to this rare event.

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The 12 Most Unintentionally Disturbing Christmas Ads
The 12 Most Unintentionally Disturbing Christmas Ads

These ads seem to want nothing to do with cheer and goodwill, but rather to unsettle you someplace deep in your soul, so that you will never be 'right' again.

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The Best Goddamn Christmas Letter You Ever Got
The Best Goddamn Christmas Letter You Ever Got

As I do ever year, let me start by saying, you're welcome. You have no doubt received my final edits on your own Christmas letters in the mail by this point. I will say that on the whole, I found them as endearing as they were littered with cliches and errors.

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5 Ridiculous Things You Probably Believe About Islam
5 Ridiculous Things You Probably Believe About Islam

In the same way that not all Christians are Young Earth Creationists, plenty of modern Muslims see room for interpretation in the Quran.

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My Brief Time As Rudolph's Best Friend
My Brief Time As Rudolph's Best Friend

Freak nose. You have a freak nose. It's not a normal nose, it's a freak nose. I'm Daniel. Your nose is wrong. Your whole face. You were poorly designed.

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The 4 Most Irresponsible Sex Advice Books of All Time
The 4 Most Irresponsible Sex Advice Books of All Time

On Halloween, G.O.D.E.K. doesn't give out candy-- he gives children tips on keeping their marriage spontaneous with heart balloons and back massage coupons. And speaking of children, the following four books were printed on their flattened and dried remains:

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5 Insane Barack Obama Comic Books You Won't Believe are Real
5 Insane Barack Obama Comic Books You Won't Believe are Real

The comics industry's intense obsession with Barack Obama has provided us with some bizarre, baffling and sometimes even disturbing stories.

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How to Brace Yourself for Bad News [COMIC]
How to Brace Yourself for Bad News [COMIC]

There's a proactive way to do it.

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10 Mind-Blowing Easter Eggs Hidden in Famous Albums
10 Mind-Blowing Easter Eggs Hidden in Famous Albums

It's almost like Jimi Hendrix knew the internet would be invented, and that the music fans who hang out there would have way too much time on our hands

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How to Argue Like an American [COMIC]
How to Argue Like an American [COMIC]

Completely illogical, and totally convincing...

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5 Ways Porn Created the Modern World
5 Ways Porn Created the Modern World

If you really look into the history of our technological development, you'll notice that the force driving us forward all this time wasn't our need to better ourselves or seek out truth in all its forms, but rather our desire to see naked people touch each other's junk.

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