Cracked Archive - Weird World


The Adult World As Misunderstood by Children

We don't just shield children from the real world to protect their fragile minds from all the sexy adventures we're getting up to. Much of the adult world is too boring for words. We asked you to show us some of the misconceptions that arise from kids not knowing the difference between the two.


So You've Been Tied Up and Left for Dead on Train Tracks

Looks like you're tied up on a set of train tracks! So ... is this a sex thing, or a mortal peril thing?


7 Celebrities Who Invented Amazing Things on the Side

Most of us are lucky if we can make it through life with even one outstanding talent. But some just aren't content with that.


20 Competency Tests That Should be Required for Daily Life

We require competency exams for teenagers, but once life has beat them down or their natural instincts have worn down enough to suck at everything else, we give them the benefit of the doubt.


4 Ways the Face-Eater Zombie Craze Proves the Media's Broken

Recently a man ate another man and Cracked had an awesome day of traffic. This is not coincidence.


23 Embarassing Secret Tattoos of Famous Fictional Characters

Paparazzi give us the opportunity to see the tattoos actors have digitally removed or covered up with makeup in movies. But what about the tattoos the fictional characters are hiding from their fans?


The 5 Most Ingenious Worlds Ever Invented by Science Fiction

In no other genre is setting as important as it is in science fiction: No matter how intricate the book's plot, or how chisel-jawed that Hollywood manpile on the movie's poster might be, the universe is always going to be the real star.


7 Phrases That Are Great Signs It's Time to Stop Talking

Here's some phrases that signal some actual bad things coming that nobody wants any part of.


The Worst Thank You Card Ever Sent

Dear Aunt Sandra-- So this Thank You card is something my mom's been on me to do for awhile (you know what she's like). I kept telling her I was saving up things to be thankful for so I could get them all in on a single card.


5 Infuriating Things Nobody Tells You About College

When it comes to lowering your expectations of the adult world, it doesn't get much better than finding out about this kind of crap.


When Hollywood Runs Out of Books to Turn Into Movies

Since Hollywood got her mitts on the Facebook story, we've seen non-fiction books adapted to the screen with a reckless abandon that surely foretells bad things for the movie-going public. We asked you to predict the non-fiction books that will be making disastrous appearances on the silver screen.


The 5 Weirdest Things You Learn When Driving Across America

What follows are a few of the more interesting tidbits I picked up while driving through this great land. I share them not only to give you, the reader, a glimpse at what kind of boring shit I get into when I'm not working, but also because writing about the trip means I can count the gas and hotel rooms that I shelled out for along the way as tax


5 Ways to Improve Cats

On paper, no one can argue with cats. Nice concept. Clean design. Right size. Good noise level. Yet few men I know own cats. We fix that ...


The 5 Most Diabolical Crimes Planned and Executed by Kids

We're not encouraging children to commit crimes, or applauding the terrible deeds committed by these kids. We're just saying we're kind of impressed.