Listen, you can question our credentials on any of these other entries, but we here in the States eat food better than anyone else, and we know what goddamn sound it makes: munch, chomp, even the occasional om nom nom--they're all pretty good, because they all sort of sound like what you hear when you chew something (inside your head, anyway). Not like:
Hungary - Come on, you've got to live up to the name guys. In Hungary, the sound that eating makes is hamm hamm.
That just seems needlessly confusing. It probably turns every conversation into a rendition of "Who's On First?"
Guy #1: Hey man, what're you eating?
Guy #2 (chewing): Hamm hamm hamm...
Guy #1: I thought you were Jewish?
Guy #2: I am, why?
Guy #1: You're eating ham.
Guy #2: I'm sorry, I didn't hear what you said - you were chewing too loud.
Guy #1: I hate this country.
But that's not nearly as bad as...
Japan- Who went with: MOGU MOGU.
Hey, they live on an island: They've got no one to answer to; it must be liberating. Have you ever lived without any neighbors? You walk around naked in broad daylight, do weird things to trees and become oddly feral at night. That's Japan like, every day. For centuries. Eating is "mogu mogu" for the same reason their noise for "dozing off" ("Toro, Toro") sounds to the rest of the world like the last thing you hear before being trampled by a rampaging bull: Nobody was there to tell them that's goddamn ridiculous.
Who's down for some fish porn?