Bad news: Your clone wants to kill you. Worse news: This guide is your only hope of survival.
Even if you've never, say, pulled a gun on somebody who cut you off in traffic, you've probably only imagined yourself doing it. Not everyone is capable of such restraint.
Bad news dweebs, consider this column the shitty popcorn ball in your bag of candy. With any luck, it will spoil your favorite holiday just a little bit.
Since all of human history consists of people thinking of ways to take good ideas and make them terrible, these days copyright laws have been taken to absurd extremes.
Toughness as a virtue died off somewhere in the 1950s, but most men still like to be thought of as badasses. Luckily, I've identified five ways to spot someone who is only pretending to be a badass.
Turns out that back in the day, the Man of Steel was less of a big blue Boy Scout and more of a raging anti-establishment maniac in red underpants who spent more time destroying property than catching criminals.
We do not endorse any of the following actions. (No matter how friggin' awesome they are.)
The news media is in and out quicker than a high school kid on prom night, hyping up the most outlandish elements of a story and then dropping it like it's an infant.
If life were perfect, the terrifying things of the world would live in their own remote part of the planet so the rest of us could avoid them entirely. But life isn't perfect.
When you are online all the time you'll run into certain people and things that seem to be beloved by all and you may not understand why, but they'll have just short of no real world influence at all offline.
Money is a fragile thing, vulnerable to a whole lot of societal factors that you have no control over whatsoever. Which is why sometimes things just go completely insane.
Let me be clear, I still love reading good books. But thanks to school, everything else is a pain.
Smuggling requires planning, creativity and guile. Or at least a smuggler who really, really doesn't give a shit.