The Fantastic Four's Cosmic Rays Will Give You Superpowers
We all know how the Fantastic Four got their powers: Reed Richards brought his untrained family into space, and they were bombarded with cosmic rays that made three of them normal people with superpowers and Ben Grimm into a terribly disfigured monster with superpowers. It's shitty for the Thing, but at least the cosmic rays make a pretty decent way of getting superpowers, even though logic tells us that basically anything you run into in space that can affect you will likely kill you.
Can we take a minute to talk about all the fucks Sue is not giving right now about their impending doom?
It turns out that a more appropriate saying regarding space would be "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." China has taken this idea of getting special abilities from space and really run with it, as they've started using "cosmic radiation" to grow super fruits and vegetables.
Marvel Comics, Guandong Academy of Agricultural Sciences
"You should see how they made my wife's melons grow." -both guys
Continuing a project that started in 1987, the Chinese have been sending hundreds of seeds on shuttles or high-orbit satellites to be irradiated by "cosmic radiation in space," kind of just to see what would happen. We can't emphasize enough that those are the scientists' own words that they published in a journal for the United Nations and everything: "cosmic radiation in space," as in, "The most specific thing we know about this radiation is that it's from space."
20th Century Fox
They brought plants into space in the first Fantastic Four movie as well, but no one gave a shit because that movie sucked.
But the effects of this vague radiation are easier to understand than what's causing it, as most of the seeds that went into space show genetic changes and "multiple chromosomal aberrations" that enhanced the vigor and germination rate of the seeds once planted. Again, we can't say for sure that China got this idea from the comics, but the Fantastic Four does sort of have the "throw shit into space and hope it gets super" market covered. The results speak for themselves, proving that the Fantastic Four were really on to something: China has been able to produce super vegetables such as half-meter-long cucumbers, massive pumpkins, and giant eggplants from the seeds. The researchers also pointed out how not all mutations of the seeds were favorable, meaning that even in the world of super-radiated plant seeds, some come out as Mr. Fantastic and some come out as the Thing.
Marvel Comics, Rex Features
This pumpkin can only hope to one day meet a blind woman to love it for what's on the inside (seeds).
For more nerd comedy from D. McCallum, check out her website, Texts from Superheroes, on Tumblr, Facebook, or Twitter.
For more ridiculous predictions (that actually happened), check out 6 Eerily Specific Inventions Predicted in Science Fiction and The 5 Most Ridiculous Pop Culture Predictions That Came True.
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