There was just one little problem with the plan, which is that he hadn't actually inherited shit. Clearly the only solution was to break into a random 6,000-square-foot luxury vacation home, set up shop, and invite his prospective in-laws to live in the place. And they accepted, because it probably seemed impossible that the whole thing could be a big, stupid lie.
Ontario County Jail via Syracuse Post Standard
"Nothing says 'old money' like a buzz cut."
Surely Blauvelt had the common sense to make sure "his" new bachelor pad belonged to, say, an eccentric billionaire who owns a hundred houses and never visits them?
Nope! His lovingly crafted lie lasted for one goddamn hour. The actual owner of the place bumped in while Blauvelt's in-laws were still arguing over bedrooms, gave them one look, and called the cops.
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But not before the squatters ate all the food and licked all the silverware.